Month: January 2012

  • Top 5 Games of 2011

    1) Portal 2 (PC)
    Considering how every single person in the world has already played this game, I’m not going to bother writing a full paragraph describing how awesome this game is. It’s awesome.

    2) Alice: Madness Returns (Xbox 360)
    This game is way too underrated. This is a classic platformer with a jaw-dropping aesthetic and an awesome framing device. It was one of the few games released in recent history that kept me playing it almost non-stop from beginning to end. If anyone reading this hasn’t played it yet, you should.

    3) The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (PC)
    This is the ultimate choose-your-own-adventure game. Sure, there’s some sort of story line, but who cares? For me, the Elder Scrolls games are all about losing yourself in a huge, living world. I can, and have, spent hours just wandering around looking at all there is to see (and slaying all there is to slay). I do not regret the consecutive 22-hour marathon I spent the day this came out.

    4) Saints Row 3 (Xbox 360)
    What’s that, Roman? You want me to drive over and pick you up so we can go bowling? Pfft, get outta here! I’m too busy firing missiles from a helicopter at a herd of zombies. Y’know what? Never mind. I’m gonna land this thing and take these zombies out with exploding pistol rounds and my good friend Burt Fuckin’ Reynolds. Oh, and did I mention that I’m dressed like a pirate? You can take your Liberty City and shove it!

    5) The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D (3DS)
    The original is one of my Greatest Games of All Time. Of course the remake is going to make the list! Go out and buy it right now! Maybe if we buy enough copies, we can convince Nintendo to abandon these ridiculous motion controls.

    Down the portal hole

    Honourable Mentions:
    FEAR 3 (PC)
    Reason for not making the list: Didn’t want to change title to “Top 6 Games of 2011”

    Anno 2070 (PC)
    Reason for not making the list: Slow pace

    Sonic Generations (Xbox 360)
    Reason for not making list: The late game modern Sonic levels

    Harvest Moon: Tale of Two Towns (DS)
    Reason for not making list: Lazy contractor

    The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii)
    Reason for not making list: Absolutely terrible controls

    Katawa Shoujo (PC)
    Reason for not making list: Released in 2012