March 26, 2005

• Dude, I was reading the American Legion yesterday, and let me tell you
  that they have some of the funniest stuff in there. I'll give you 3
  (three, drei, tres, san) examples of what I mean:

  Example No. 1

      FOR SALE: One computer, slightly used. Bullet hole in screen.

  ROFL!!!!1!! Isn't so true, though. Nextly...

  Example No. 2

      NEVER PUT OFF until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow.

  LOL!!!!1! This one right here really speaks to me, I'll tell you what. Now for the last and funniest of them all!

  Example No. 3

  IF MEN RULED THE WORLD

• Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
  
• When your wife really needed to talk to you during the
  game, she would appear in a little box in the corner of the screen
  during a time out.
• Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice
• At
  the end of the workday, a whistle would blow, and you'd jump out of
  your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus right into your
  car.
• Tanks would be far easier to rent.
• Instead of a beer belly, you'd get beer biceps
• Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that says, "You're #1!"
• Valentine's Day would be moved to Feb. 29^th so it could only occur in leap years.
• Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style.
• Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

I must say, I truly agree with point four. That is how I plan to leave my office every day. Okay, to wrap it all up, all of these jokes are probably owned by The American Legion. By reading them, you probably owe them about a dollar by now. If you refuse to pay, an angry black man will visit your house and cut you... blah blah blah... I've always hated legal disclaimers.