Dude, get this. I was driving home from Johns Hopkins and I saw the scariest thing ever. This sighting proves to me that humanity will not die from nuclear annihilation, nor various equestrian doom-bringers. No, all of humanity will be wiped out in a giant car accident.

I was driving home and it was raining. The roads were soaking wet and rather slippery. Trust me, I know how much fun hydroplaning is. Anyway, I was going about 10 mph over the speed limit when somebody passed me. Now imagine how fast the other guy must have been going. Do you have the thought in your head? Okay, I'll give you a few more seconds... Alright, so he is driving pretty dang fast. When he passed me I got a chance to look at him through his window. Naturally, he was eating a cheeseburger in one hand and had his other holding a cell phone in his ear. Now if both of his legs needed to be driving the car, what was controlling the gas and his brakes? Maybe his legs were braking and accelerating while he used his penis to steer. Now we all know what happens when guys think with their penis. For those of you who don't know the answer to a rhetorical question, they think pretty poorly. So with him speeding, eating a burger, talking to who-knows-what, and using his penis to steer, he can easily destroy at least a major city. Imagine if he saw a beautiful girl wearing no bra walking through the rain. SWERVE! That's what'll happen. He rams into an office building, forcing it to crash down. The resulting debris knocks more crap down. Eventually a large poisonous cloud of asbestos and brick fragments floats through the air and kills every person who gets a whiff of the concoction. The resulting death will cause nuclear meltdowns and more car-accidents. Thus contributing to the world's destruction. Now, I know I only saw this in tiny old Aberdeen, but I am sure there are more dick-drivers out there somewhere. Think about that you men who think you can "multi-task" while driving!

Wow, this post turned out longer than I had planned. It went way out of my control, by golly. Oh well. Peace out!

Allow me just this once to act like I am being serious. I wrote this poem recently for some stuff and well... here it is:

Presence Unknown

Silently

I wait

As night falls

I leave my place

And I check to see

That they all are fast asleep

Not knowing my presence in their lives

I do what I can to appease

But they do not know me

I am but a phantom

In their small lives

I return now

To my

Place

That's
some deep stuff huh? I wrote this in about five minutes, and yet it
displays some of what I am feeling living in the home that I do. I do
almost everything for the people I live with. But I get nothing, not
even a 'thank you.' It sucks. Oh well, I am sure you all know by now
that my guardian is A CRUEL, FASCIST, HINDU, SPAWN OF SATAN!

Now that I am through being serious, or trying to fake it. I leave
you now with a quote that I have just read that is very funny.

"I make fun of senior citizens, but obviously I aspire to be one of them, the alternative being what it is." - Scott Adams

Oh, I also found a quiz that I just had to do; considering how many times me and my friends talk about past Nick TV shows.

You scored as Kablam!. Kablam! 100% Legends of the Hidden Temple 50% Doug 42% Double Dare 42% Rocko's Modern Life 33% The Secret World of Alex Mack 33% Rugrats 33% Clarissa Explains It All 25% Ren & Stimpy 17% Are You Afraid of the Dark? 0% The Adventures of Pete and Pete 0% Which Old School Nickelodeon Show Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

The
amazing thing is, I know and have seen every single one of these shows
(not every episode, though). I must say, I am happy with the results.
Except for Legends of the Hidden Temple. That was a stupid show. But
yeah, Kablam was awesome! I wish they had Salute Your Shorts...