August 19, 2006
-
Extreme Dentistry
I'm not sure about you all, but I know that where I live there has been a sudden rise in what is called sedation dentistry. In this form of dentistry, the patient explains the problem and is then summarily konked out. During this time of unconsciousness, the dentist removes all of the patient's teeth and replaces them with low-cost plastic replicas. When the patient comes to, he or she won't know the difference, but the pain will be gone. This method is primarily used by cowards who are afraid of dentists as shown in this chart:
sedation dentistry cowards general dentistry neutrals ??? thrill seekers
As you can see, there is a gap in the graph. What kind of dentistry can be offered to adrenaline junkies? I have an idea I like to call "Extreme Dentistry" (get out the patent papers). It's like sedation dentistry, except instead of getting gassed while sitting, you get shot by a tranquilizer dart. You see, the patient will be released into a fair-sized paddock and given a two minute head start before a highly-trained, Crocodile Dundee-esque hunter begins to search for him or her. The actual dentist work begins when the patient is hit and dragged feet first out of the paddock. Doesn't that sound awesome? Especially if the patient is really good and the hunt lasted for a day or two. Maybe it can be televised. I wonder who would advertise for a show like that. Obviously toothpaste companies, but who else? Well, whatever. Peace.
Comments (3)
Extreme Dentistry, two words that needed to be in the same sentance sooner!
I thought extreme dentistry was when you did it yourself, with noting to dull the pain, not even Novocaine.
if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to worry about? little by little the freedom we're supposed to have in this country is sucked away... and you just don't think eventually you're going to be affected? yeah, you're young. sure... you don't do anything wrong. just wait until you're 35 and you have to have some weird account with the government to use the restriced-access internet that basically filters out everything interesting and lets you read FOX NEWS all the time. where do i sign up?