August 24, 2006
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I think I've finally discovered what I am going to dedicate my life to. I will dedicate it to the research and study of the Buttered Cat Paradox. Let me try and explain. Everyone, of course, knows that a cat always lands on its feet. It is also known that toast always lands butter-side down. The paradox arises when one attaches buttered toast to the back of a cat, and then drops them. Theoretically, both the toast and the cat will want to land its own way, however one can't without stopping the other. This would result in what some believe as an antigravity configuration (see fig 24.1).
Fig 24.1Some have even gone on to propose that this would result in a perpetual motion device as well. I have my doubts about this theory. For one, nothing can make a cat live forever. Not even Doom music. Though it is possible that a dead cat may still land on its feet, this is uncertain. Also, there is the possibility that whatever adhesive that attaches the toast to the cat may wear off. A more pressing matter is that, while spinning, all of the butter on the toast is flung off. With the attractive force of the toast towards the ground (Fbt) is lost, the cat will ultimately win and slam its legs on the ground. Then it would stagger off in a dizzy stupor. There are still many more questions. Is the cat's attraction to the ground equally distributed to each foot, or does each foot have its own attractive force. Let me try to make it into an equation. Remember, Fc is the cat's combined attractiveness to the ground. Now, is it (Fc/4 = one cat's foot), or is it (Fc * 4 = total force)? Another question involves the toast. It is known that toast's desire to land butter-side down is magnified the more expensive the carpet is. What would be the appropriate carpet worth to exactly equal the cat's attractive force? Also, would the use of jelly have any effect on the configuration? Would the jelly square the attractive force? There are just so many questions involved in this theory. Maybe one day I can have my name in a science textbook, and then charge college students blasphemous amounts of money to acquire that book. Ah, good times. Peace out.
Comments (3)
You have to be careful with the type of jelly choosen. For instance, expensive black carpet will not repel cat and blueberry jelly as well as say moderately expensive white carpet. Also, does the length of the carpet fibers matter? Will shag carpet increase or decrease the toast's desire to land butter-side down?
I hate to ruin your fun-but in Biology last semester we did an experiment to see if toast always lands jelly side down. And it does not. In fact, we found that most of the time it doesn't. But you can pretend I never presented this information to you.
What about a more basic model. Instead of attaching a piece of toast to a cat, why not just butter it on both sides?