Why is it that some cashiers feel the impulse to remind you how much you hand them? I bought a soda the other day, and he said, "that'll be one sixty-seven... out of two." What's the point? Am I supposed to say, "oops, did I hand you two dollars? I meant to give you a twenty. I like to test a cashier's math skills periodically. Thanks for catching that." I suppose that would not work in my case, since this particular cashier was drawing out the change as he politely reminded me how much I handed him. All while wearing his "I-get-off-in-a-half-hour" smile, no less. Maybe that is when you say you actually handed him three fifty, and while he stares at the money bamboozled, you grab the cash in the register and dart off. Just remember, I did not give you such a dangerous idea. A far better plan would be to just smile in a pseudo-friendly manner and walk off without another word. Have fun.
Month: September 2006
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Chinese Organ Sales Increasing
Fig. 28.795It seems that the sale of organs in China has been growing for quite some time now. No, not that type of organ (see Fig. 28.795), I mean the organs inside the human body. Apparently, they are harvesting the organs from executed felons and using them. Don't worry, I'm sure they ask the felons for their permission first. At gunpoint, naturally. Anyway, surely that's an atrocity or whatever, but more importantly is how great of a conversation piece that little gem must be. Especially if you're the lucky one whose survival was brought to you in part by a convicted felon. Imagine if a Chinese individual was being questioned for murder by a policeman. "Really officer, my heart is truly peaceful. My kidney, however, is a murderer's, and made me do it. Blame it!" I'm kidding of course. It's unlikely the two of them would be speaking English. It would probably be a great way to pick up chicks, too. Some guy would probably say, in Chinese of course, "hey there, I just got the liver of a rapist, and I'm feeling a bit randy. What say we get married and then shag, baby?" The fun just never stops when you use felons' innards. They're not gonna be using them anymore, right?
On an unrelated note, I am pissed that the new Banjo-Kazooie game is only for Xbox 360. I knew it was only a matter of time, but still!
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I was listening to the radio at work recently when I heard Panic at the Disco's "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" (hitherto IWSNT), and I didn't think much of it at the time. I kind of liked it, but it wasn't really my type of music. Anyway, I later went on to YouTube and I saw the video for the song. While watching it, I realized that the radio version of IWSNT has the word "God" censored out. They fail, however, to blank out the succeeding word "d~mn". I couldn't help but think, "Wow, you already play such an Emo song on your 'kid-friendly' station, yet you can't even blank out 'd~mn'? Instead you blank out God?" Fascinating how this country's fear of religion is growing. Hmm... whatever. This post has become a bit too serious for me. To compensate, here is a wallpaper I slapped together in about ten minutes. My friend Stephen can attest to that.
It's Nina from the original Harvest Moon! -
Eww... Spinach
As if there weren't enough reasons to eat spinach. It seems that recently the US Food and Drug Administration has found strands of the E.coli 0157 bacteria on spinach. Americans, literally, are advised not to eat any spinach. I may be guessing, but that probably includes the canned spinach that has been sitting in the back of the pantry since the Roosevelt administration. I'm sure that many young children are breathing a collective sigh of relief, right after they are forced to eat their brussel sprouts. So far, a "whopping" one-hundred people have been hospitalized by this infected spinach. In a mad dash to ruin spinach for the rest of the world, the FDA has also warned Canada and Mexico to lay off. As to the how and why the spinach became infected, no one has a clue. By the sound of things, the FDA hasn't even found a single piece of spinach that has E.coli on it. I think it is safe to assume that this is all just a plot from the brussel sprout farmer association to force mothers to trade spinach as the prefered means of torture for their own malicious product. For shame, brussel sprouts.
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Okay, I think the initial shock of Harvest Moon DS has finally worn off and I am ready to return to my regular posting.
Today's post is going to be about something that happened about a week ago, but due to certain circumstances, I never got around to it. It's called the "strike of the crossed legs." Let me explain. It seems the girlfriends of Colombian gang-bangers are fed up with the violence, so they decided to hit their squeezes where it hurts. Right in the genitals. Not literally... figuratively, man! Several girlfriends are calling a ban on sex until their boyfriends give up the gun. There is now a weapon that can actually be more powerful than the military. While they can raid gang compounds or take out leaders, there will always be others to fill the power vacuum. But once sex is cut out of the picture, suddenly gang lifestyle doesn't seem all that appealing.
Several things could go wrong in this ban, however. I'm sure that rape rates will skyrocket in Colombia until this ban is "lifted." Also, it's possible (I'm guessing) that real jobs don't pay nearly as much as gang-related jobs. Selling a single bag of coke probably nets more than I make in two weeks. (Please note: I did no research whatsoever, and am just guessing about the market value of cocaine.) I'm sure there are also plenty of prostitutes out there who aren't going to pay any attention to the ban when there are vast quantities of money to be made. Still, I gotta give those girls credit for trying. Peace out.News Flash: Yarr... 'tis International Talk li' a Pirate Day! All a' ya scurvy landlubbers had best prepare for long moments a' stereotypin'... ya-har.
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