HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

We now return to your regularly scheduled hiatus...

Alright loyal readers (all four of you), I will be going on a hiatus for a little while. As you all well know, in approximately twenty days, Nintendo will release its Wii console. To prepare, I have decided to hunker down and actually complete all of the games that have since accumulated in my room. There are several reasons, but foremost is to save money. I figure if I am spending time beating these games, it will keep me from spending money on others, thereby saving up for a Wii. I want to dedicate almost all of my free time to this, so that is the purpose of this hiatus. The list is below. As I beat them, I will return and scratch them off. Stay tuned to this space for when I am ready to return. 'Til then, peace out!

• Scarface (PC)
• Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil (PS2)
• Final Fantasy X-2 (PS2)
• Okami (PS2)
• Harvest Moon: Save the Homeland (PS2)^*
• Trauma Center: Under the Knife (DS)
• Sonic Rush (DS)

* Okay, maybe not this one.

For those of you who do not know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Okay, I didn't know either. I only found out when it was passively mentioned on some radio advert. I kind of take this as an excuse for guys to be more aware of women's breasts (as if we weren't already). I don't think any lady is going to take that as an excuse to stare googly-eyed at her breasts, however. "I was just trying to make sure you didn't have breast cancer! (smack)"  Bummer. This got me thinking about the purpose of Awareness Months thenselves. Shouldn't we be aware of these crises all the time? Maybe the purpose is so we don't get bored. Perhaps by spacing them out in yearly increments we avoid phrases such as, "breast cancer awareness? That is so passe!" Perhaps it is also to help businesses. Most companies like to look good by doling out cash to needy organizations. They can not just give cash to all of the charities at once, however. The amounts would either be too small to make a difference to the charity, or it would bankrupt the company. By giving each charity its own month, companies only have to give money to that month's respective purpose. That way businesses would not break the bank, and can still say things like, "we support <<insert anything>> Awareness Month (+ cheesy smile)." Just for yuks, I would love to see a Benefits of Video Gaming Awareness Month. It would be great! Important companies would give grants to video game developers to keep up the good work. People would have ribbons that looked like motherboards on their car bumper. Anyone who tries to denounce video games would get hissed off of the lecturn. I tell you, this has some potential. Get to it, America!

I was driving to class last night, and I saw something that
irked the heck out of me. Before I begin, let me make some things clear. I
hardly ever drive the speed limit. On average, I am going ten to fifteen miles
per hour over the speed limit, except in school zones where I go eighty-five
over. In short, I spend a lot of time in the left lane passing the people in
the right lane. Sometimes, however, I encounter one of those drivers that drive
slowly while in the left lane. These
people obviously do not realize that the left lane is the “get out of my way”
lane. I have a system for dealing with this, though, that involves passing them
on the right while glaring at them (it’s not very effective, but it makes me
feel better). Getting to the point, I encountered one of these drivers last
night. I had the opportunity to use my trusted system, but something made me
rethink this. This particular driver, going the speed limit in the left lane, I
remind you, had a bumper sticker that read “slow down”. Upon reading this, my
brain did a quick translation of the text, and I realized it meant “The driver
of this vehicle is a big doo-doo head that does not know the rules of the road
and humbly asks anybody behind to tailgate him or her (okay, her) mercilessly”.
Not being one to disobey direct instructions, that is exactly what I did. After
a good five minutes of being tailgated by my menacing station wagon, the driver
got the message and pulled into the right lane. As I passed, the driver had the
audacity to glare at me! It took all
of my restraint to resist forcing that person into a lamppost. The moral of
this story is that if you are a slow left lane driver, you should sell your car
before people like me destroy it.

Welcome to ITN-100, otherwise known as Introduction to
Networking. It is more commonly called, in the words of the wise proletarian,
Sausage-fest-a-palooza. Seriously, out of the whole class of twenty, there is
one girl. And no, it is not the teacher. There are some funny things about
having a class full of guys, though. Especially since guys legs always twitch
when they’re anxious. When there are ten minutes left in the class, I swear the
class beneath us must think we’re doing the hokie-pokie. The one lady in the
class must be feeling pretty bad because everyone (read: everyone) is trying to
hit on her. I tell ya, it’s great. There’s nothing like an IT class to give
people a perspective into the male psyche. Speaking of which, I think
psychology classes have the opposite problem. Maybe I should look into it. It
must be fun to be the token male.

HAPPY 1023 DAY!

Why do people always seem to poop their pants when I tell them I don't drink coffee. "How do you wake up in the morning?" they oft ask. Well, let me let you all in on a secret. I shoot myself full of ecstasy. Just kidding, of course. I just start moving around. I mean, of course I'm groggy, but I don't let a little thing like that stop me. I allow trees and lampposts to do that, especially when I realize I'm late for class and still groggy in the car. Another factor that keeps me away from coffee is the fact that I think it tastes like dirty water. Seriously, that's all it is. You take perfectly good water, and then you put dried leaves into it. That's all I ever taste when I drink it. The same goes for tea, for that matter. I can't stand tea. The same goes, again, for sewer drain water. I guess I just don't enjoy leaves in my water.

I thought we'd have a little fun today. Pictured below, I have five classic rock bands. Each one has a corresponding letter. Below the pictures are band names. Try to match them up as best you can. I didn't make them too hard. Go ahead and post your guess in the comments.

A

B

C

D

E

1. Boston
2. Lynyrd Skynyrd
3. ZZ Top
4. Scorpions
5. Motley Crue

Have fun!

That's me in the corner...
Choosing my religion...

I was driving home from work the other day, and something
occurred to me. If a vehicle has earned a five-star crash-test rating, should
that mean that it is completely impossible to die even if you struck the side
of a cliff while traveling in the triple digit miles per hour? Ha ha, I’m only
kidding of course. If it worked like that, then the car companies would not be
allowed to purchase the crash-test ratings. Naturally, this is not actually
what this post is going to be about. This post will be about a unique idea I
had a little later in the same drive (I don’t pay much attention to the road).
What new cars need to have is another blinker. It would be like a turn signal,
except that it will indicate when a car is going forward. This would allow the
driver behind to know that this is not a lazy person who did not activate a
turn signal, and actually intends to go forward. Shortly after I thought of
this, I decided to scrap it. First off, most people do not use blinkers in the
first place, so it would be of little use anyway. Next, there would need to be
another light to use as the actual blinker. I first thought of the obligatory
third brake light, but it is probably too small and insignificant to be of much
value. Another problem would be where to put the switch. Dashboards are messy
enough as it is. What with all of the radio controls, wiper controls, light
controls, cigarette controls, window controls, vent controls, and
missile-launch controls (generally not included), it would be difficult to find
room for even the smallest button or lever. In general the whole idea would be
unfeasible, and generally silly. Now if I could put some nitrous-oxide
canisters in my station wagon, I would be in business.