October 1, 2006

• Cloud Bustin'

  
  It's almost Columbus Day, and you know what that means. It's time for retail establishments across the country to celebrate the founding of the Americas with a BLOW-OUT SALE!!!1!! To aid the angry and scurvy-ridden consumers in their voyage along the seas of traffic congestion, these establishments helpfully launch their cloud-buster balloons high into the air, where they conveniently do nothing. Seriously, I don't know what purpose they serve. Are they for navigation? "You want to know how to get here?" a helpful sales representative (oxymoron) may ask. "Well, look out your window. Do you see that red speck on the horizon? Yes, that's us." After driving around like a rat in a maze for the better part of a day, you realize the red speck was just a kid with a kite. A more rational reason, I suppose, would be for showing off. If your store's balloon is higher, that means you are way cooler than those other flacid-ballooned stores. What a great sales pitch too. "Their balloon is yellow. They're too cowardly to lower the price, but us red-ballooners are risk-takers. We're more than willing to keep dropping the price. So what say I slash another ten percent off and write you up?" Yup, I guess that's why a small, colored dot high in the sky is a good way to draw in sales. Or maybe it's just a shop's way of saying, "hey, look over here! I'm having a sale too!" It's way better than wasting your money on something silly like, say, advertising. Pfft, as if people pay attention to commercials anyway. On that note, it's time for a commercial break:

  

  • 8:26 am
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