October 26, 2006

• Driving Mrs. Crazy

  I was driving to class last night, and I saw something that
  irked the heck out of me. Before I begin, let me make some things clear. I
  hardly ever drive the speed limit. On average, I am going ten to fifteen miles
  per hour over the speed limit, except in school zones where I go eighty-five
  over. In short, I spend a lot of time in the left lane passing the people in
  the right lane. Sometimes, however, I encounter one of those drivers that drive
  slowly while in the left lane. These
  people obviously do not realize that the left lane is the “get out of my way”
  lane. I have a system for dealing with this, though, that involves passing them
  on the right while glaring at them (it’s not very effective, but it makes me
  feel better). Getting to the point, I encountered one of these drivers last
  night. I had the opportunity to use my trusted system, but something made me
  rethink this. This particular driver, going the speed limit in the left lane, I
  remind you, had a bumper sticker that read “slow down”. Upon reading this, my
  brain did a quick translation of the text, and I realized it meant “The driver
  of this vehicle is a big doo-doo head that does not know the rules of the road
  and humbly asks anybody behind to tailgate him or her (okay, her) mercilessly”.
  Not being one to disobey direct instructions, that is exactly what I did. After
  a good five minutes of being tailgated by my menacing station wagon, the driver
  got the message and pulled into the right lane. As I passed, the driver had the
  audacity to glare at me! It took all
  of my restraint to resist forcing that person into a lamppost. The moral of
  this story is that if you are a slow left lane driver, you should sell your car
  before people like me destroy it.

  • 7:46 am
  • 1 Comment