In today’s post, I want to go into the American FilmInstitute’s (AFI’s) top 100 movie quotes of the last one-hundred years. It wasreleased in 2005, but I just feel like bringing it up now. I am going to pickout some of my favorite quotes, and explain my feelings about them in my uniqueway. Enjoy.

#94 “I feel the need – the need for speed” – Top Gun
This is one of those great male expressions that gets usedall the time. It’s also great for stuttering drug addicts who need a hit ofspeed.

#85 “My precious.” – Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Often used by real geeks and nerds (such as myself) almostall the time.

#79 “I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley” – Airplane!
Quite possibly one of the greatest puns ever used in anymovie. I always think of it whenever someone starts a sentence with “surely”.It’s a darn useful line that makes people think you are a huge smartass.

#77 “Soylent green is people!” – Soylent Green
One day, I want to just go in to a crowded area, and juststart yelling this. I wonder what kind of reaction I would get.

#68 “Here’s Johnny!” – The Shining
What else are you supposed to say when you enter a roomunannounced? Geez.

#64 “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the warroom!” – Dr. Strangelove
I am startled that this amazing, fantastic quote ONLY placed64^th. This should be at least in the top ten. This is the one quotein the world that I could instantly recognize at any time. Maybe I should justarbitrarily throw it in to my everyday conversation. Give it a little more facetime, y’know?

#63 “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?”– The Graduate
This is just one of those quotes that you would probablynever hear in real life. Especially if you don’t know any Robinsons willing toseduce you.

#61 “Say ‘hello’ to my little friend!” – Scarface
Sexual innuendo? Perhaps. But it is still a darn great linethat has so many uses in everyday life.

#57 “Greed, for the lack of a better word, is good.” – WallStreet
This is my personal mantra, and I’m sticking to it.

#42 “Plastics.” – The Graduate
This line is a lot more hilarious if you have seen themovie. I’m not going to spoil it for you. Go out and see it for yourself.

#33 “I’ll have what she’s having.” – When Harry Met Sally
Mmm… these mashed potatoes are positively orgasmic.

#27 “I’m walking here! I’m walking here!” – Midnight Cowboy
This was an absolutely dreadful movie, but I still rememberthis quote vividly. It just sounds funny coming from a cripple.

#25 “Show me the money.” – Jerry McQuire
This is how I answer my phone. No exaggeration.

#22 “Bond. James Bond.” – Dr. No
Well, thank you for clearing that up. Now can you move yourAston-Martin? It’s double-parked in front of the casino.

#17 “Rosebud.” – Citizen Kane
I haven’t seen the movie, but I often used this cheat codein The Sims.

#12 “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.” –Apocalypse Now
I love this quote, but I think the “war room” quote from Dr.Strangelove was better. That’s just me, though. As for the quote, I wouldimagine it would smell something like gasoline, which must be nice.

#8 “May the Force be with you.” – Star Wars: A New Hope
Thanks, I’m gonna need it.

#2 “I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.” – TheGodfather
I must agree with this appointment. This is one of thosetimeless quotes that is going to last forever and ever.

#1 “I have had it with these motherf~ckin’ snakes on thismotherf~ckin’ plane!” – Snakes on a Plane
I’m only joking. If this list was recent, this would betrue, but this movie came out too late. It’ll happen next time, though.

Actual #1“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” – Gone With the Wind
“Unfortunately, I do… and don’t call me Franklie.”

Here’s the full list, if you fancy seeing it: Top 100 Quotes

Hi, my name is Josh, and I am an impulse shop-oholic. Whenever I wait in a register line, I can't help indulging in impulse-ohol. When I was at Borders bookstore, I saw this little pine bonsai kit. I thought, "hmm, I always wanted to try bonsai." So, in a single economy-bolstering move, I laid down the money not only for my books, but also a 3x3x1.5 inch box. I was wired. I could not wait to get home and crack open that tiny kit (the books lay forgotten). I opened it up and it said to leave the seeds in a wet paper towel for seven days to germinate. I said, "alright, I'll do it tomorrow." That was about three weeks ago. I have not touched them since. Now, I'm eyeing a miniature desk gong and/or pocket voodoo set. God bless America.

"What's the situation?"
"It seems we have a railroad track going through a mountainous region. Apparently, there is some sort of an avalanche threat."
"Holy Jesus. Okay, give me the details."
"Certainly. The Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railway wants to shoot artillery at mountains to trigger avalanches."
"What is the strategic value in that?"
"It seems that they wish to force the avalanches to happen so that they may pass their trains through unscathed."
"Holy Hole-in-the-donut, that might just work."
"Indeed, sir. Shall we get started?"
"Right, get to it."
"Yes, sir."

Note: Yeah, I'm assuming this must be how the meeting must have gone down. What else is there really to say?

Welcome to Hawaii,
home of pristine forests, beautiful oceans, and wild copper theft. Yes, it
appears that the high price of copper has caused an increase in copper theft. I
don’t mean penny theft or anything. I mean, they are digging up copper wiring
along one of Hawaii’s
highways. These criminals are smart, too. They don’t just go out in their
Hawaiian shirts and grass skirts. No, they dress like construction workers
(i.e. they put an orange vest over their Hawaiian shirts and grass skirts).
Last week alone, 14,000 feet of wire (worth a delightful $85,000 US) was dug up.
Police are unsure, but the criminals have either sold this copper, or melted
them down into 8,500,000 pennies. They warn Hawaiian retailers to avoid using
any and all pennies, out of fear that they may be laced with E.coli… er, rather,
that they may be counterfeit. Anyway, these acts of theft will, of course,
cause a snowball effect on Oahu’s crime rate.
The freeway’s plunge into darkness will allow an increase in such crimes as
coconut theft, hula-dancing without license, and homicide. You have been warned
America.
Peace.

It's almost Columbus Day, and you know what that means. It's time for retail establishments across the country to celebrate the founding of the Americas with a BLOW-OUT SALE!!!1!! To aid the angry and scurvy-ridden consumers in their voyage along the seas of traffic congestion, these establishments helpfully launch their cloud-buster balloons high into the air, where they conveniently do nothing. Seriously, I don't know what purpose they serve. Are they for navigation? "You want to know how to get here?" a helpful sales representative (oxymoron) may ask. "Well, look out your window. Do you see that red speck on the horizon? Yes, that's us." After driving around like a rat in a maze for the better part of a day, you realize the red speck was just a kid with a kite. A more rational reason, I suppose, would be for showing off. If your store's balloon is higher, that means you are way cooler than those other flacid-ballooned stores. What a great sales pitch too. "Their balloon is yellow. They're too cowardly to lower the price, but us red-ballooners are risk-takers. We're more than willing to keep dropping the price. So what say I slash another ten percent off and write you up?" Yup, I guess that's why a small, colored dot high in the sky is a good way to draw in sales. Or maybe it's just a shop's way of saying, "hey, look over here! I'm having a sale too!" It's way better than wasting your money on something silly like, say, advertising. Pfft, as if people pay attention to commercials anyway. On that note, it's time for a commercial break: