This is the kind of thing I want to say to some of my professors.

Note: picture has absolutely nothing to do with the post. I just thought it looked silly.

First off, how many of you watched Stephen Colbert on The O'Reilly Factor last night? No one? Geez. Well, that's okay, because I did for you. No, I don't regularly watch the O'RLY Factor, but last night was a special occasion. Let me just say that it may quite possibly be the Factor episode to beat. It seemed like Bill was trying his hardest to make a serious interview, but Stephen was doing everything in his power to avoid it. Nearer to the end, Bill must have finally given up and played along with the silliness. It was awesome. Now for the most ridiculous item of that evening; in the interview, Stephen said he was afraid of bears, yet he calls Bill "Papa Bear." Think about that while I go and get a soda. Mmm... that's tasty.

Secondly, this looks like it might be a really neat project. It seems like a bunch of Metroid fans are getting together and trying to make a 2D  version of Metroid Prime. I played the demo and the controls actually work quite well. Check it out if it meets your fancy: Metroid Prime 2D.

This next point goes to my friend Stephen, or any other Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya fans. Hey, If you look at the aSOS-Brigade site's source code, you can see the phrase "all your computer are belong to us." At least, it was there when I checked at 0753 this morning. To be honest, if they can put something as nerdy as that into the page's code, then maybe they won't screw this up too bad.

Lastly, I do not recommend eating an entire medium pizza followed by half of a large in one sitting. Thank you. That is all.

Sorry everyone, no post today. I am currently trying to balance a full-time class schedule with a forty-hour a week job. Just for a heads up, I do not recommend doing this at all.

Okay, today I have a couple of things to say, so let me make it short and sweet.

• Rune Factory for the DS has (finally) been licensed by Natsume and is expected to make a 2nd quarter 2007 release. For those of you who don't know, Rune Factory is essentially a Harvest Moon where you farm, raise livestock, get married, and kill motherf~ckin' monsters a la generic RPGs. It looks awesome, and I plan to pick it up regardless of the release date. Oh, Harvest Moon: Innocent Life will also come out on the PSP at roughly the same time. Since I don't have a PSP and have no intention of getting one, I probably will not be reported too much on this one.
• I was amazed at the complete lack of professionalism I saw in my college class the other day. You see, the overhead projecter was not working properly, so the professor called in an AV worker to give it a once over. This is all well and good, except for the fact that the AV guy was wearing a wool sweater. Now, I'm no computer major (okay, maybe I am), but I don't think static-filled wool sweaters are such a good idea around electronics you open up and fiddle with. Hmm... maybe that's why it didn't work in the first place.
• Today's appetizers include: Blooming Onion ($8.00), Chicken Kickers ($5.50), and Shrimp Fajitas ($6.00).
• Due to recent posts by a certain someone, I have now started playing Animal Crossing: Wild World again after about a month and a half of ignoring it. I do not think I will ever forgive him. It seemed like I was on the road to recovery until I took another hit of the sweet, sweet AC ecstasy. I wonder if they have any rehab groups for Animal Crossing... and maybe The Sims 2 while I'm at it. I have a problem.
• Lastly, it seems that there is going to be a PS2 game based on Rurouni Kenshin. I enjoy the series, but after watching the video (see below), I think the game is going to be dreadful. By the looks of it, there is no lock on feature, and the combos look weak. However, I am sure that if it is released stateside, it will be a big hit just because it bears the Rurouni Kenshin moniker.

As I mentioned before, I drove up to Maryland for the weekend. This is a little less than a two hour drive. As I was driving, though, I discovered something interesting about myself. I seem to have forgotten how to drive with both hands. You see, my vehicle is a stick shift, and in Virginia I have to shift gears often, so I generally have one hand on the steering wheel and another on the stick (okay, ha ha, phallic joke; shut up). Well, when I'm on the highway, I am spending all of my time in fifth gear (and at roughly eighty-five miles per hour), so I don't really need my hand on the stick. When I moved my other hand onto the wheel, it felt incredibly awkward. I suddenly could not control my car as well. It seemed to weave more than usual. When I put that hand back down to my side, it stabilizes. It is like my other hand is trying to do its old job, but only ends up overcompensating. I guess I am just a naturally born "gangsta," if you will. Indeed, "holler back" my brethren!

Okay, I am back from my sabbatical up in Maryland. It was awesome. We played so many video games in less than forty-eight hours. Here is a list of some of the games we played. I say "some" because it is likely that I may have left out a few. In no particular order, I might add.

Rise of Nations: Thrones and Patriots
Wii Sports
Red Steel
Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
Naruto: Clash of Ninja 2
Unreal Tournament
Tsukihime
Melty Blood
Meteos
Kirby: Squeak Squad
Mario Kart: Double Dash
Defcon
Worms Armageddon
Hello Kitty: Cutie World
Harvest Moon: Magical Melody

In short, it was an awesome and very productive holiday. Now, if you'll excuse me, my classes start today and I must prepare. Welcome to the suck.

Okay, I am hoping to cruise up to Maryland this weekend and hang out with some friends. If successful, I will be going on a sabbatical for the next few days. I know, I know. How can you ever live without me to brighten your days? Well, figure it out on your own. I'm on a sabbatical.

Okay fine, here is some news that should tide you over. It seems that the Germans are finally making a movie that should have been made long ago. It is a movie about Hitler. It is a comedy movie about Hitler. FINALLY! I am amazed Americans have not already made a comedy about this guy. Leave it to the Germans, the ones who possibly disliked Hitler most, to make a comedy about him. Translated, it is supposed to be called Mein Fuhrer: The Truly Truest Truth About Adolf Hitler. Isn't that just an awesome title? I saw no word on a release date, or even if an English version is in the works, but here's to wishful thinking, neh? If you want to read more about it, here is my reference: Mr. BBC

So how many of you watched the President's speech last night? No one? Well, golly, this makes me look silly. Anyway, let me recap some of the finer points. First off, he wants us to send more troops. A little over twenty-thousand. Secondly, he wants to try and increase the size of our military at home. I think I see a flaw in this plan though. He is sending more troops to war, but wants to increase the size of the military. Why does that seem unlikely? Hmm... Anyway, he also mentioned some stuff about trying to focus on beefing up the Iraqi government. Blah-de-blah-de-blah... In all, it was a dull speech that most journalists saw coming from a mile away. What's worse is that the president presented it in his best deadpan face. It was just boring. He didn't screw anything up! No visual gags, no puns, nothing. Just a boring, straight-laced speech. I tell ya, I gotta become president. I would fix that up real quick.

I was reading some BBC articles a few days ago, and picked out a couple that I thought were hilarious. They all involved lawsuits. I know this is all old ground, but it is just amazing how people will sue over the most minute inconveniences. Here is the first one:

Wal-Mart sued because of potty mouth ~ Okay, this story is somewhat similar to the old, I-just-made-it-up saying, "guns don't kill people, gun merchants kill people." It seems that some lady purchased an Evanescence CD from a fine Wal-Mart establishment, but then listened to it with her children and was alarmed to hear certain naughty, naughty words. Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy Evanescence. For sooth, I actually like a good number of their songs (though, they are rather overplayed on the radio). The lady, however, claimed that the CDs should have warning labels plastered on the cases, so that other whack-job mothers can protect their children's virgin ears. They are seeking £38,660 (a delightful $74,500) in damages. I want to keep track of this story, because if they win, I want in on some of this hot lawsuit action. (t3h referenceXor)

McDonald's sued... again... ~ Yeah, yeah, I know it's old news. This story adds a new twist, though! Instead of suing over something silly, such as spilled coffee, this lady is suing over something EXTREMELY silly. Namely, she is suing over a hot pickle. Now, it seems the McDonald's is in a bit of a pickle (omfg, roflmao). Anyway, it seems that a super-hot  pickle fell out of this lady's burger and gave her chin some second degree burns. The lawsuit claims that the pickle in question was, and here I am quoting, "defective and unreasonably dangerous to the customer." What was McDonald's rebuttal? It went something like, "NUH-UH!" The lawyers are all starting to "heat up" in what may be the "hottest" case in McDonald's history. Now that's hot. (t3h 0th3r referenceXor)

Orly the Matchmaker ~ Well, it looks like this matchmaker can't make matches as well as she advertises.

Yeah, really. Because of it, she is getting the pants (dress, whatever) sued off her. What, you don't believe that there is an Orly matchmaker? Geez, here. Anyway, the lady doing the suing makes the case that she did not meet the kind of men she wanted to. That's not what is important. What's important is that fact that she won! She won £1.1 million (or $2.1 million for people like me in the United States) from the matchmaker, just because Orly was trying her best to do her job. America, you are on notice. And that's the word! (t3h L4st referenceXor)

Alright everyone, as you know, these United States
are in the grips of a so-called obesity epidemic. So, I plan to offer my own
form of the ever popular diet program. I call it the Jimbo Obesity Stopper "H" (JOSH). This diet is guaranteed to work, or your money back!^*
You see, it works like this: you can EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT^**. You
can EXERCISE AS OFTEN AS YOU WANT^†! That’s all there is to it.
Nothing very special. Enjoy^‡.

* The JOSH Program is free to
all users; therefore, the actual money-back guarantee is nil.
** This applies only if what
you want to eat is spinach and various nuts.
† This applies only if you
want to exercise a minimum of five hours or more.
‡ This last word should not apply
to any one attempting a diet of any sort.