I read an article the other day that made me question religion once again. Specifically, it was about a four-legged duck found in England. I could not make this up if I tried (well okay, maybe I could). Now I am going to try and write this article in a most non-denominational sort of way. I could be a prick and write it all based on my religion (Pastafarianism), but then I would be just like every other religion out there. So to help with this article, I will use the word "flubadaba," which will be the word to describe your gods or god. I will use it as though it was singular, but only for ease of writing. If you are polytheistic, please make the grammatical substitutions in your head. Thank you. If you are atheist, please disregard. The four-legged duck is clearly a mistake in genetic coding.

Right, when I looked at the picture of this duck, I was convinced that flubadaba must be either fallible or completely sloshed. I mean, just look at the thing. It can't even use those extra legs for momentum. The owners of the duck, which they have dubbed Stumpy, say it only uses them for support when standing about. If flubadaba is in control of everything, then it truly screwed up this one. Sure, maybe it wants to make a new animal on a whim, but it could surely do better. A more plausible theory is that flubadaba was drunk at the time. Flubadaba wanted to celebrate Presidents' Day a little early and threw a party with all of the dead presidents (this was Gerald Ford's first). After several cases of Samuel Adams (the beer), Samuel Adams (the dude) said to flubadaba, "I darez you to make a four-legged... um... DUCK! Yeah... betcha can't do that." Not one to chicken out on a challenge, flubadaba hastily created the abomination. (Note: I apologize to all religions that believe in reincarnation, or have no afterlife in which you meet flubadaba. For the sake of this post, please pretend that you do. I'm sure your flubadaba won't mind.)

Want to own a little bit of American history? How about the window through which Lee Harvey Oswald shot John F. Kennedy? Well, maybe you don't, but some other guy certainly does. The window was recently put on sale on eBay and fetched a little over 3-million dollars. Let me repeat that for the hard of hearing (er... sight), THREE... MILLION... DOLLARS!

I'm sure that would be the centerpiece of any household collection. I'm sure the guy has it set in the middle of his living room. "That's right neighbor, that IS the window where JFK got gunned down." Ooh, it would be even better if he had a little firing range in his yard. He could set up the window and use it as a gun mount. That must be one of the most satisfying feelings in the world. Maybe it could be set up in his daughter's room, so when some guy parks in front of the yard and holds up a boom box that is playing some Peter Gabriel, you can give him a "little piece of history." The possibilities with this window frame are endless!

Looking back, I realize that I have not written about anime
in quite a while. That is why today I shall write about it. What exactly is
anime, anyway? Well, it is quite possibly one of Japan’s greatest exports. It has
spread from that little archipelago to several countries all over the world
(perhaps beyond). The wildfire spread of anime can most easily be seen in this startling
graph:

Yes, with data like those, it is hard to argue how powerful
a force anime has become. Today, most everyone knows of anime, and many even
watch it, including: myself (w00t), my friends (y’know, the people who read
this drivel), their friends (some of them I know), certain senators (anime is a
series of tubes!), religious leaders (I sure hope this “Haruhi” lady will not
damage the church’s image), and even the President of these United States (I
get my anime off the internetz)! In case you have not already figured it out, I
did not plan this post out at all. Rather than ramble on, I leave you with
this:

Sgt. Frog Coming to DVD soon!

• I wonder how many railroad barons referred to their trains as choo-choos.
• If you are going to use the self-checkout line at the grocery store, please be sure you know what you are doing before hand. Please don't stand there looking at the screen and move at a glacial pace.
• You don't hear many rappers refer to their coccyx in their songs, do you?
• I want to say that video games cause immortality, but the data do not support it.
• The word "data" is plural, unless you are referring to the word itself.
• If I carried my knife with me more often, there would be a lot more slashed tires in this country.
• I still can't get a grip on the fact that I am paying college all this money for a worthless sheet of paper. You should only have to go to college for classes you actually need. Most I.T. majors will never use chemistry.
• Whenever I am at work and on hold on the phone, I hit the speakerphone button so everyone else can enjoy the tinny music from the CD "The Best of Nobody."
• Guys, don't you hate it when you're using a urinal and a chill goes down your spine? You make a mess, but there's no paper to clean it up with.
• Always remember, when you are born, you are covered in goop.
• I like the way some cars are described as "fuel-friendly" when their sole purpose is to make it explode.
• Y'know what I need? More money.
• This video is quite possibly the least related to its song than any other song/video combo in the world.

Well, today is Valentine’s Day; also known as that
Gross-Consumerism Holiday. Since I don’t have a date today, I thought I would
write a little history about this lovely holiday. As I’m sure you all know, the
day was named after the famous mafia killing that took place on this day in Chicago circa 1929.
Several mobsters were mercilessly slaughtered and one of them was named
Salvatore Valentino. It turned out that it was his birthday, and his fellow
gang-bangers were going to throw him a party. Rivals barged in, however, and
gunned them down. When the police identified him, they felt sorry for the guy
and petitioned to the mayor to ratify a day of mourning. At the time, the mayor
was having heart troubles and thought he would try to raise his constituents’
awareness of their heart. When the police visited him with their proposal (they
misspelled Valentino as Valentine), the mayor decided to take advantage of this
and append his heart-healthy message. He announced the first annual Valentine’s
Day and told everyone to pay attention to their heart. The heart, however, is
commonly related to love in United
States folklore, and his words were
misconstrued. As of that day, February 14^th became a national
celebration of love, chocolate, and stress. And that's how it all began. Remember: it’s not libel when the
people are dead!

Okay y’all, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and that means
single guys (by that I include myself) are shizzle out of luck. Even though I
may be single, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try, right? That’s why, today
only, I offer you this little personal about yours truly. Alright ladies, meet
Jimbo!

Okay ladies, my real name is Josh. Don’t ask how I got Jimbo
as my nickname, as I’m not entirely sure myself. I’m 19 years old, up to about
5’5”, and am studying I.T. in my second year of college. I’m a serious geek, so
if that doesn’t turn you on, then you’re wasting your time here. My hobbies
include anime, gaming, and reading. My favorite type of music is classic rock,
but I wouldn’t say no to J-pop and dance music. If you’re interested, check out
my Last.fm. I’m into all sorts of video games, but I can most often be seen
playing god games like Sims 2, SimCity, Black & White 2, etc. For more on
that, be sure to see my Xfire profile. I like anime, but I’m not into action. I
much prefer comedy (romantic comedy, really). For more, you can check out my
AnimeNfo account. I try to read a lot, but with my college schedule,
recreational reading has waned. I still read more than your average American
(which isn’t saying much, I suppose) and have a nice collection at my Library
Thing. In terms of personality, I’m basically a fun guy. I can easily be mature
when I have to be, but I way prefer
to be silly. Some of my heroes include Leslie Nielson, John Cleese, and George
Carlin. They are all inspirations, and sometimes their influence can be seen in
my ramblings on this blog. That’s basically me in a nutshell (only 243 words,
too). All I ask now is that you comment and give me a “valentine.” Please? You
don’t have to be sincere, I’m desperate here.

Today’s post brought to you in part by Stephen’s Harvest Moon comic To be released at midnight tonight! For a sneak preview, visit his xanga!

So I finally read the last volume of Ranma 1/2 last night. This post is going to be about that, so if you have plans about reading it and don't want to have it spoiled, please go elsewhere. Might I recommend the web site for the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Anyway, I thought the ending was a little dry, and seemed to be rather forced. It seemed like Takahashi finally said, "well, that's enough of that. Let's stop it here." Then she slid in an ending and it was done. Basically, Ranma had to save his fiancée from some bird-people. For all intents and purposes, this is just an old recycled plot-line. It's been done before. Anyway, by the end of the long and exhausted (and boring) battle sequence, Akane is saved and they have their teary-eyed reunion. Then, they're about to get married (finally) but it gets put off because, well, none of the loose-ends were, technically, taken care of. As I said, the ending was just slapped together. Ultimately, it leaves you with one of those cliché "the ending is just the beginning" kind of endings. It was definitely not one of my favorite endings for a manga series as venerated as Ranma 1/2.

In other news: working SUCKS!

Sorry I haven't had any good posts for a while. There has just been too little to work with. I'm working on it though. I might have something nice tomorrow. 'Til then, here is a kunoichi on a soda cup.

A few posts back, I had called the movie Crank the epitome of a guy-movie. As oftoday, I would like to remove the label from that film and place it on another;namely, the movie The Marine. NowTHIS is a guy-movie. This movie features even more pointless action, even moreunrealistically large explosions, more arbitrary macho dialogue, and evenfeatures a form of the famous “Save the Princess” plot structure. Let me tellyou what happens. This famous special-ops marine is discharged. He tries to fitinto regular life, but then some diamond smugglers kidnap his wife. All Hellbreaks loose as he goes on a rampage through the swamps of South Carolina hunting his wife’s captors.That’s all there really is to it. The marine systematically slays all of thecaptors to save his ganguro girl wife. This movie is awesome. I recommend it toeveryone. Just don’t try to watch it logically, because then you would besaying “this makes no sense” a whole lot.

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