March 17, 2007

• Misleading advertising phrases

  

  Since I spend a good majority of my day sitting in traffic,
  I have a lot of opportunities to hear commercials. Some of them are silly, some
  of them are cool, most of them are stupid (not in a good way). I noticed that a
  lot of them recycle a lot of phrases that, upon closer scrutiny, make very
  little sense. Here are a few of my favorite examples.

  “Direct from factory
  prices” – As opposed to what? Aren’t most products from a factory anyway? I
  could understand if another company used the phrase “pulled out of our a*s
  prices.” Perhaps they are trying to directly compete with raw material
  producers. You don’t often hear lumber sellers use the phrase “direct from the
  woods prices” though.

  “Digitally
  remastered CD” – I would imagine this was necessary. You have to convert
  the analog music into a digital format in order to store it on a CD anyway.
  It’s redundant.

  “…is an equal
  opportunity employer” – I don’t like this phrase. Being an “equal
  opportunity employer” is the law. It’s required. It’s like a company bragging
  about the fact that it does not, to the best of their knowledge, actively kill
  their employees.

  “Everyday low prices”
  – “Low” is a very ambiguous word. It suggests the concept of a price that
  is small, like a buck-fifty. Instead, many companies use “low” in the sense of
  “lower than the cost of purchasing the Vatican.”

  “5-star crash-test
  rating” – I touched on this one in a past post. If you ask me, a car with a
  5-star test rating should be a car that you are physically unable to be killed
  in. Five stars means that it is perfect. The only car I can think of that can
  achieve this kind of perfection is one that does not have an engine. Though,
  even that is a little iffy.

  “Meow meow meow meow.
  Meow meow meow meow” – This is a misleading phrase, as very few products
  that use it have any actual meow in their mix. Most of it seems to consist of
  cardboard.

  • 6:26 am
  • 3 Comments