I just realized that most of
the things we do to dead people are actually quite wasteful. Burying
them six feet under keeps all of the body’s nutrients away from plants
that actually need them. Cremating them also destroys nutrients, and
then presents the “what-the-hell-do-I-do-with-this-dust-now?” predicament.
While dropping the bodies on crop fields is tempting, it would take
an army of dead to fertilize an entire field. Cannibalism seems like
a very sensible idea. It would solve world hunger quickly, and even
create more growth room by not saving space for graveyards. It could
even be made ritualistic and implemented into most major religions.
Something along the lines of “I ate your flash and now your spirit
and all the other spirits that were part of you are now a part of me
and will live forever through me. Amen. Pass the ‘que sauce, Ted.”

It’s been a while since I updated you all on the latest
Harvest Moon games, so today I thought I would tell you all about the latest
game in the series for the Nintendo Wii. After reading about it and looking at
the screen shots, I am now confident that this could possibly overtake Harvest
Moon: Magical Melody (MM) as the best Harvest Moon game ever created.

From a graphical stand point, the game is a cut above all of
the rest. It is in full 3D and looks rather good.  The character models are a little bland, but
they are adorable, so they are forgiven. Also, the animals you can have look
far more realistic. Rather than consisting of basically two ovals, the cows now
look like actual cows. The sheep like actual sheep. The penguins like actual…
wait. Penguins? Yes, there are penguins in here, but they are not the only new
animals to grace this game. Added to the menagerie are animals such as pandas,
ermines, and bears. Clearly, Marvelous Interactive is going to allow you to run
your own fur operation. It is also possible to have black sheep and black cows
which are added to the game only because of affirmative action pressure. Another
thing that I thought was rather neat was the ability for your main character to
change his or her clothes. I’m not particularly concerned about this, but it
makes for a nice touch.

None of you care about
all of this, of course. The important question lies in the harem of
bachelorettes that are eligible for marriage. My favorite, thus far, is Cathy,
who is shown to the right. There is a problem I have with the cast this time
around. There is no Popuri clone. The closest character to her sadly appeals
only to the lolicon crowd (of which I’m not a part of). Aside from that, the
cast looks alright. They even have a girl who looks like a Gerudo from the
Legend of Zelda series. For the cast of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes,
be sure to visit this site (in Japanese). Another neat feature that has been
too long in coming allows your child to actually help you with farm work. I’ve
only seen one screenshot, and that’s of your daughter watering some crops. At
least, that’s what I assume. She’s just standing there with a watering can. It
looks like they start early though, which is a big plus.

That is all I’m going to write for today. This game is
set for release in Japan
this June. When it gets to the U.S.
is anyone’s guess. I am seriously considering importing this game and trying to
play it with a Japanese-English dictionary in my lap. It may take me a while,
but I’ll be pretty far into it before it gets released over here.

Recently, I got the chance to watch
about half of a great anime called Fate /
Stay Night. I highly recommend it, but whenever I mention it, people seem
to swoon for a character named Saber. I suppose I can understand why, but I
honestly don’t think she is that great of a character. It takes more than a
big, invisible sword to attract my attention. I love the deadpan face (a big
plus in my book), but it seems to be completely overshadowed by her
pig-headedness. In short, she is not one of my favorite characters.

Definitely, my favorite
character is Taiga-sensei. She is the comic relief, and I am totally okay with
that. Her over-reactions and funny facial expressions add a much-needed boost
of humor into this anime. When Rider and what’s his name were draining the life
out of her, I personally wanted to jump into the scene and kick his patootie across the
hall. I need to teach them their place. Kudos to Taiga-sensei, nya.

My next favorite character is Rin. Something about her just
seems fun. She’s probably going to turn on Shiro nearer to the series’ end or
protect him in an act of love (personally, I’m rooting for the latter). She’s
just a fun character to watch. I’m hoping to learn more about her motives as
the series progresses.

Saber isn’t even my favorite Servant in the series. That
spot goes to Rider. I know she tried to kill Taiga-sensei, but I think I can
forgive her. She’s got the emotionless attitude that I think is awesome, and –
AND – she uses spikes on a chain. I think this weapon is really cool-looking
and needs to be implemented more often.

After all of these characters comes Saber. Even then, she’s
probably tied with Sakura. Sakura is just adorable with her timid attitude and
obvious crush on Shiro. I don’t know whether to root for her or Rin when it
comes to Shiro’s affections. I plan to watch the remainder of the series as the
DVDs are slowly released. This list is subject to change.

I was browsing Wikipedia at work the other day when I came across a list for the "Songs of the Century". It was a list of 365 songs that the RIAA and other organizations have selected to put into some sort of order. That's what organizations do, they organize. Here are my thoughts on some of their selections.

• 1. "Over the Rainbow" - Judy Garland - No, I did not really care much for The Wizard of Oz. Even when I was a kid, I gave the movie a resounding "meh". This song does not deserve to be number one. It's shameful.
• 5. "American Pie" - Don McLean - A deserving title to be in the top ten. This song is great because it's long, the lyrics are easy to remember, and it's incredibly ambiguous. I love this song and I'm glad to see it where it belongs.
• 44. "Every Breath You Take" - The Police - Yeah, most of the titles between 5 and 44 aren't all that important in my opinion. Sure you have some good ones like the Beach Boys, but The Police trumps them any day. Frankly, I prefer their song "Message in a Bottle", but I guess I can't be too picky.
• 46. "Hotel California" - The Eagles - I can't believe this song only made 46. I expected it to be at least in the top twenty. This is one of the greatest, catchiest songs ever written and deserves all the praise it can garner.
• 53. "Stairway to Heaven" - Led Zeppelin - This song is very similar to "American Pie", in that it's long and ambiguous. It's hard to choose between these two because they are both great. I think we can all agree, though, that this song should've been higher on the list.
• 79. "The Sound of Silence" - Simon & Garfunkel - What? I like this song! Get off my case, haters. This song is awesome and should be praised!
• 80. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" - Nirvana - I guess this song got high honors because of it's high success despite it's unintelligible lyrics.
• 94. "Stayin' Alive" - The Bee Gees - When ever this songs plays while you are walking, you are required, by law, to begin to strut. It's not an option. Your body just begins to do it anyway. It's similar to the way you just start punching with the opening riff to "Eye of the Tiger".
• 117. "Puttin' on the Ritz" - Harry Richman - This song is one of those guilty pleasures. I really like this song, but I don't tell anyone. It's catchy, and was used in a Mel Brooks movie
• 118. "Layla" - Derek and the Dominoes - Eric Clapton doing one of his great guitar riffs. I like the original version over the unplugged version.
• 122. "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" - Cyndi Lauper - I'm an 80s fan and all, but I cannot stand Cyndi Lauper. Crikey, whoever told her she could sing should be dragged out into the street and forced to listen to the best of Nails on a Chalkboard.

Okay, I'm tired of typing for today. I will continue my thoughts on this list tomorrow, unless something sidetracks me, or popular opinion suppresses me. See you then.

I have some friends coming over for a couple of days, so it will be interrupting my regularly scheduled blogging. It will resume in short time. Thank you for your patience.

Let us all give a happy and heartfelt "Happy Mother's Day" to our mother(s) and all of the other mothers in the world. Also, lets not forget...

天照大神
Amaterasu, origin of all that is good and mother to us all. Can I get a woo-woo!

Always remember that Lucifer was generally considered a
Seraph. That just sounds odd doesn’t it? Lucifer, the resounding symbol of
evil, was once one of the highest orders of angels. This thought makes me
question the general structure of an angel’s lifestyle. I’m guessing that being
an angel must be an on-the-clock job. They work in shifts for a few hours at a
time. The Seraphim would punch their cards, meander up to God, and start singing
songs of His praise. I’m sure most Seraphim happily punch their cards and go to
work with a smile on their face. I’m sure that when Seraphiel clocks in, he
gives God a Buddy Christ pose and proceeds to flap his flying wings (while his
other two sets cover his feet and face) and sing to God (you’d think He’d get
tired of it by now). Lucifer, on the other hand, must have been like your
average human employee. He grudgingly punches his time card and sings his songs
just heartily enough to get paid and get the Hell out of there. I could see him
in Heaven’s break room, chatting with Beelzebub and Samyaza, and complaining
loudly about his job. “Christ! (even before his birth, his name was a common
curse word; even in Heaven) Last time I looked at the clock was five minutes
ago. Today just will not end!” That’s a fun way to look at Christianity, isn’t
it? I’ll let you flesh out any ideas of your own as you will.

• If a left turn is essentially a right turn done wrong,that would mean three wrongs, not two, are necessary to make a right.
• I have found that new-car transport truck drivers andmini cooper drivers are generally the quickest and best to be behind.
• We need another four-star general.
• Ocean Spray has a line of raisins, which are actuallycranberries, that has been given an orange flavor. Does that sound funny toanyone else?
• Who else thinks those shoes with the little wheels inback that you can roll around on look incredibly silly?
• The phrase “terminal leave” always makes me thinksomeone is dying.
• Who else has preordered their copy of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiyalimited edition DVD? I know I have.
• Don’t you hate it when a tiny chunk of popcorn getscaught in your throat?
• A purr-anha: a cat and piranha crossbreed.
• I wonder how many people who’s mothers made them eatsoap when they swore developed some sort of disorder from it.
• I think it’s time for a lawn vacuum to be invented.
• There needs to be a constitutional amendment thatdictates which way a toilet paper roll should face.
• In reference to fortune cookies: I wonder what theratio of good fortunes to bad fortunes is.
• 100% pure bottled water! (may include trace elements oflead, arsenic, asbestos, urine, blood, peanuts, and salt)
• I like learning about religion, but I don’t likereligion. I like learning about it to justify my distaste for it.
• If a movie is released on January 1st, is itallowed to call itself “the best movie released so far this year”?
• When you stop at a red light, and all of the cars youpassed a long time ago catch up to you, don’t you feel like a prick for a fewseconds?
• I recently saw a bumper ribbon that read “pray for ourtroops.” I realized that terrorists pray for their troops too. The differenceis that they actually mean it.
• I wonder how many fat people who are pictured from theneck down are actually paid for their photo.
• If your surname is Jablomy, it is not recommended thatyou name your child Haywood.
• What is it in asparagus that makes your urine smellfunny?
• Taking a bullet for somebody only works if it’s thefirst and only bullet.
• I’m about ready for a cell phone with a compass.
• Anyone who suggests using only one square of toiletpaper at a time clearly has no sense of reality.
• Wouldn’t it be creepy if humans grew from spores?
• I am amazed at the sheer number of people who do notknow how to operate a pen.
• The famous video game known as Spore will be delayed until mid-2008, sources say. My thoughts on this include "dammit!"
• I recently saw a Lifesavers wrapper that bragged thatit had 33% less calories. I checked, and this claim is indeed true. Each tartwas reduced from three to two calories.
• Usually I’m not into modern music, but I have had thissong stuck in my head for far too long.

Did you ever get to a door at the same time someone else is leaving in the opposite direction? This has happened to me, and I've seen it happen to others, several times. The result is always the same. You both come to a complete stop and stare directly into each other's eyes. Time becomes an enigma. An otherwise simple operation becomes a paradoxical conundrum that your brain is not equipped to handle. Since the brain does not know how to "fight" the situation, it defaults to the "flight" response. The two people step aside to let the other pass. Unfortunately this only works in about half of the cases. This part gets a little tricky to explain in writing, so bear with me. If they both step to the same side (ex. A steps to his right, and B steps to his right), then the crisis is averted, and they calmly pass each other. If they step in opposite directions, however, a slightly different problem emerges. Once again, the two find themselves with the path blocked. This time one of the possible sides to step to has been occupied by the door frame. It's possible that one person can stand still and hope he other goes around, but this would be rude, and potentially awkward if the other is attempting the same thing. As a result the two have to return to the center and repeat the process. It's all rather time-consuming and makes you want to hit the other guy in the gut.

I just read a news article about one of the greatest ideas in modern criminal punishment. A judge in Alabama ordered a couple of Wal-Mart shoplifters to wear signs in front of the store that said, "I am a thief I stole from Wal-Mart". While I don't condone stealing from Wal-Mart, I must say that embarrassing somebody in front of strangers, friends, and family has got to be one of the best ways to clean up a shoplifter. Now, by wearing this sign for only two days (not consecutive), they get to avoid a two-month jail sentence. Now, there are people who think that the sign punishment is too cruel. These people are clearly idiots. I'm sure every single person on this planet would rather wear a silly sign for two days than go to jail for any length of time. Of course, the sign punishment only works on a few small crimes. It would not work for, say, serial killers. People like Jeffrey Dahmer would not be affected by wearing a sign that said "I killed 17 people and all I got was this lousy sign". The signs might be a great way to clean up some of the stupider state laws that no one actually gets arrested for anymore. It would be fun to visit Kentucky and seeing someone with a sign that read, "I kept an ice cream cone in my back pocket. Actually, it might be funnier if he went to jail for a few days. I wonder what his bunkmates would say when they ask, "what're you in for?".

In other news: The energy drink known as Cocaine is considering changing its name. More news as events warrant.