Sorry I didn’t post yesterday. I had the honorof driving to the airport that morning to drop off my step-mom for a flight.Driving in an airport sucks. I apologize for not speaking eloquently, but thefact of the matter is that airports are not automobile driver friendly. Thestreets at an airport are based on the structure of the highway off-ramp. Theyare all a series of curved roads going over and under one another in a mannerthat boggles even the layout planners. I’m sure maintenance workers are requiredto sacrifice a lamb yearly, just to keep the spirits of the winding roads fromrising up and destroying humanity. And let’s not forget the merging! Airportdesigners sure like to make you merge. It must be a package deal with theoff-ramp people. Stop signs and traffic lights would be too difficult, Isuppose. Then there’s the road in front of the departure doors. I’ve seensoccer riots more organized than that mess. Every time I go to an airport, I amastounded at the sheer number of people that think the middle of the road is aperfectly good place to park and discharge luggage and passengers. The worstpart is that you can’t run over these people because it would take longer toget the car out of the way. All you can do is sit there and glare as these slowpeople take their sweet time conversing and taking their luggage to the curbone piece at a time. If I had the time, I would follow them home just to yellat them, but I was in a hurry. Anyway, join me next week when I get tochronicle my adventures on the arrival side of the terminal. I’m sure it’ll beexciting. Hopefully there will be another outbreak of plague.

You know what they need to do? They need to just
go ahead and remake the anime Tsukihime
as a school-life harem-comedy. There, I said it. It would just make sense,
wouldn’t it? You already have all of the characters you need. You have the
older, flirtatious temptress in Arcueid. You have the violent girl with the
good heart in Ciel. You have the quiet one in Hisui (or Kohaku, depending on
how you look at it), and you have the sporty one in Kohaku (or Hisui, for the
same reason as before). Lastly, you have the siscon fodder in Akiha. The only
problem that would arise is who gets Shiki at the end. I, personally, would
like to see Hisui (as the shy one) get the guy, but this would be non-canonical
for a harem-comedy. The quiet girl never gets the guy. Ever. Still, it’s
comforting to know my favorite character class is still single (my life is a
lonely one). The most likely choices would be either Ciel (á la Love Hina) or Akiha (á la Da Capo). As for plot, that’s practically
pre-packaged too! Three of the girls already live with Shiki, and the other two
visit frequently enough. They could all be made the same age, with maybe Ciel
and Arcueid in another class, where they are bitter rivals. With Ciel’s
penchant for swords, she may as well be a kendo club member. Lets see… there
will be the obligatory Valentine’s Day episode, beach episode, yukata festival
episode, and the kokuhaku episode (among others). Heck, why not keep Arcueid a
vampire, just to keep things interesting. Maybe that could be the plot device
that separates it from other harem-comedies (wait, already been done. See Karin). Come on, who agrees that this is
a good idea?

I was wondering. Is there a department in newspaper companies where it is peoples’ jobs to write articles about hypothetical situations, so when they do happen, they’ll be ready? I can imagine that they write up stories so that when the event happens, all editors need to do is change some dates and names and call it a day. It would be like a big game of mad-libs! I wanted to try my hand at it, so I thought I would do an article for a potential space shuttle explosion. It has happened before and will probably happen again. These newspapers have to be ready. While it is fun to watch videos of the event, I never actually read any articles about space shuttle explosions, and I am sure there are few who do, so companies can probably get away with a simple article. Here goes...

Yesterday, on insert date, America suffered a great loss. The space shuttle name of space shuttle exploded seconds/minutes after launch, killing all number passengers on board, including insert name of influential or minority passenger who had no real purpose being aboard. Details are still sketchy, and the cause of the mishap has yet to be determined. Scientists are currently investigating, and we here at newspaper name are doing everything we can to get this important news to you as quickly as possible. All your base are belong to us. We recently had the chance to interview person with doctorate in any field on the possible answer and he/she had this to say on the subject. Insert doctoral drivel here. While we cannot stress enough that there is no proof, and these are just wild accusations, I am sure we can all agree that foul-play / alcohol / video game violence / Michael Jackson was involved.

Recently, I got to purchase the awesome anime movie called Metropolis. The movie is based on a 1927 silent film by Fritz Lang of the same name. While I have never actually seen the silent version, my research has deduced that the two films are very similar. They share the theme of social classes, wherein workers are downtrodden by the wealthy that depend on them. Honestly, though, very few people care about this. I’m sure that there are critics out there who spit on the anime Metropolis because it’s not the original, but frankly they are godless communist heathens who think nothing of infant defenestration and incest. The anime version is great, and I highly recommend it to everyone. I suppose it is a difference of quality. There is no doubt that the 1927 version was the most expensive silent film created. It cost approximately $5.27 to produce, which equates to about $200 million today. Still, it doesn’t hold a candle to the anime version’s amazing visuals and intriguing sounds. Don’t just take my word for it, though. As I have stated, I have never seen the original version (and have no intention to). Nevertheless, you should see the anime version. You don’t believe in infant defenestration, do you?

I'm going to take a hiatus for a couple of days. I'll be back when I'm back.

Imagine if everything in life had to be done at high speeds.
You had to do things as quickly as you could, or you would slip into a coma. If
you did not quickly wake from that coma, you die. That’s motivation. I wonder
what kind of world that would be. There would be no traffic, as everyone will
have the gas pedal to the floor. Car accidents will probably go up, to be sure,
but you wouldn’t have time to wait for an ambulance. You had better crawl out
of the wreckage, set your bones, move the car to the side of the road, and
start sprinting to the hospital. You just survived a car accident, so you don’t
want to die yet! At the hospital, the doctors will rush up, slam you on a
table, patch you up, and shove you out the door with the bill faster than you can
say “get me morphine.” You can’t be late for work, so you better start
hot-footing it. If you’re so inclined, you might steal a car, but good luck
doing that at 180 miles per hour. School zones? Please. Those kids better learn
to cross the street pretty darn fast. Getting side-struck by an 18-wheeler
would be a good lesson to them, in more ways than one. Fast food restaurants
will be all that’s left for nourishment, but since everyone’s living an active
life, there are no fat people. There will probably not be any of those creepy
old people with oxygen masks either. Those things will just slow them down then
BAM! into a coma. This world would probably reintroduce the firing squad as the
primary means of capital punishment. Lethal injection and the electric chair
would take to long. Who has that kind of time? The firing squad could even be
assembly lined. Could you imagine a Catholic communion? “Okay, everyone, line
up to receive the body of Christ… and… GO!” All of the people in line would
dash forward with their mouths open while the priest throws out the Styrofoam
crackers. Wow, I have lots of ideas!

and all you got was this lame post.

Okay, lets say this together. "By playing this game, I will not acquire a girlfriend as hot as the lady on the game's website." I think some people might get that confused, unless of course she is really into seeing you using your Wii for fishing (pun intended). Honestly, I think this advert is going to be the only reason this game sells.

Recently, someone left a comment (I won't say any names) that questioned where I get my ideas. I try to post everyday, but it's not always easy. Most of the time, moy posts are about video game and anime news / thoughts. This information comes courtesy of the World Wide Web that some colloquially refer to as a "series of tubes." Also present is a good number of pictures, videos, and other pointless gobble-dee-gook. I do, however, make a real effort to post frequently with original humor articles. I guess you could say there is a process to writing one, but it is rarely nicely streamlined. It generally begins with me seeing something, and then thinking of something silly regarding it. For example, I work on a military installation, so I see bald eagles emblazoned upon almost every flat surface. One day, I wondered what this country would be like if Benjamin Franklin had his way, and the turkey was the national bird. This is a silly idea that I would have had some fun working with (maybe I'll save it for later). If it dies there, or because I'm too lazy to bulk it up, it then becomes a "some thought" (I keep a list of them). If it's a good idea, like my current example, then I would dwell further upon it during my down time, like when I'm driving or sitting at work. If it requires some research, I fire up Wikipedia so that I can at least sound like I know what I'm talking about. If I can get a good amount of material, then I have the post for the next day! Since the world is such a silly place, I rarely run out of material. As for the pictures, well, that's what my 43+ MB folder of Yuki Nagato pictures is for.

In other news, it seems that someone has stumbled upon my site and posted a link to it on a famous Harvest Moon forum. Honestly, I had nothing to do with this, the individual must have just stumbled upon it. Upon further review, it appears that a Yahoo! search for "harvest moon island" will bring up one of my old Harvest Moon articles from January. Cool! I'm famous now. This is the kind of initiative it takes to get me to write another Harvest Moon article.

As the owner of a white station wagon, I was thoroughly offended by this commercial.