June 11, 2007

• Schooling Continues

  More parents you don't want to meet on career day

  

  “Thank you Dr. Williams. That was Howard’s mother everyone,
  a doctor at the Tri-State Hospital of Podiatry.”

  The class applauds tiredly.

  “Next, we have Richard’s mother, who is a lawyer at
  Schlatomy, Schlatomy, and Schlatomy.”

  “Um… actually, mom couldn’t make it in today, but I did
  manage to bring in my dad.”

  “Oh, okay then. Let us meet Richard’s father, Mr.
  Schlatomy.”

  “Actually, his mother and I aren’t married. You can just
  call me Redd.”

  “Ah, my apologies. Well Mr. Redd, why don’t you tell the
  class what you do.”

  "Hm… really, all I do is go around the country scraping a
  living by selling sperm to various hospitals. I guess you could say that I am technically this kid’s father, and it
  has been proven, but I really haven’t been around for him. I just happened to
  be in this part of the country again when this guy’s mother ran into me at the
  hospital yesterday. The doctor introduced us. We both thought the doctor was
  joking, but he assured us that I was truly that chick’s donor. It was rather
  awkward. So today, this kid, Richard, visits me and asks if I could attend this
  school-thing. Here I am. I didn’t really attend much school; I dropped out
  during my second run of eleventh grade. The money isn’t great, but it gets me
  by. It sure beats doing regular work, that’s for sure. Plus, it’s incredibly
  enjoyable. All I do is see the doctor, he gives me a little cup and some
  magazines, then I-"

  “Ah… that will be enough Mr. Redd. Thank you for your time.”

  “But I was just getting to the best part. You want these
  kids to know about their options, right?”

  “That was Richard’s father, class.”

  • 6:11 am
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