July 1, 2007

• Some Thoughts 13

  • I sincerely hope the person that invented the
    “safety seal” on DVD and CD cases is burning in Hell.
  • I wonder what thoughts went through the heads of
    those guys in Hiroshima
    when we nuked them.
  • Hey, I can’t help it if my zodiac sign looks like
    a sperm.
  • I don’t understand how four gas stations on the
    same intersection can make any money.
  • I hope people will start listening to those
    health officials about parking at the far end of the lot. Maybe then I would
    finally get the front-most parking spot.
  • Could getting a divorce be termed “seceding from
    the union”?
  • Do molecular physicists ever play a game called
    “catching an ammonia”?
  • Whenever you see a roach on the floor, minding
    its own business, do you ever just spray a vast quantity of Raid directly onto
    it? I know I do.
  • What’s the deal with those soap dispensers that
    make the soap come out all foamy?
  • Whatever happened to the Trapper Keeper?
  • I wonder if coroners build up a tolerance to
    fart smell.
  • I think the sole reason news companies air
    information on celebrity lives is so people can ask “who cares?”
  • It should be against the law to drive under the
    speed limit in the left lane.
  • Don’t you hate it when you’re really thirsty but
    you have a full bladder?
  • Fan (n) = manual air turbulence manipulation device
  • No matter what, January first will be named the
    hottest day so far this year at least once a year.
  • “Is it true your husband is a violent
    schizophrenic?” “Beats me.” (I love that pun)
  • Do you gain all of the calories in a piece of
    gum just by chewing it, or do you have to swallow it?
  • If you’re feeling really gassy, could you stab
    yourself in the gut and relieve the pressure?
  • I wonder if sports stars keep bobble heads of
    themselves in their cars.
  • Ever have one of those days where it feels like
    your lunch is having a heated discussion with your digestive track, resulting
    in the use of nuclear weapons?
  • I wonder if mosquitoes get cancer from spawning
    in radioactive water. You never hear about a mosquito getting cancer, do you?
  • Have you ever screamed “get out of my head” at a
    pimple?
  • Fred Astaire is bringing sexy back...

  • 7:38 am
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