September 1, 2007

• Some Thoughts XV

  • One good thing about
    100° summer days is that you don’t have to worry about your food
    getting cold.
  • There’s very little
    that’s worse than being gassy at work.
  • I wonder how many
    people, during the time when all writing was carved into stone tablets,
    had bad handwriting.
  • You can always sense
    a police speed trap by the wave of brake lights ahead of you.
  • If human population
    growth continues, "dead and buried" will be replaced by "dead
    and puréed."
  • I've never had
    high morale. I wonder what it feels like.
  • Just when I thought
    all of the silly technology had been created, I see chairs that change
    color to match their surroundings.
  • I've always wanted
    to use the phrase "it's sacrelicious!" in regular conversation,
    but the opportunity never comes up.
  • I wonder how much
    of the ocean floor is made up of toilet paper.
  • Orange juice is
    never better than an actual orange, unless the orange is all brown and
    moldy, of course.
  • You dont see
    many street gangs dancing through the streets anymore. What happened?
  • Just once, I would
    like to see a bunch of football referees start doing the Macarena during
    the Super Bowl. I wonder how the announcers would handle it.
  • People need to "thumb
    their nose" more often, and in more ways than one.
  • Pizza is yummy.
  • Who was the genius
    who first decided to grind up a perfectly good chunk of beef into small,
    thin strands?
  • I don't think
    I've ever come upon a situation where I would need to write upside-down.
    Sometimes I have to write sideways, but never upside-down.
  • Stand-up comedians are allowed to say things that would earn an ordinary guy a punch in the mouth.
  • When people tell you to put something in the back of your mind, they don't realize that that's where vision is processed.
  • It's like there's a party in my mouth, and everyone's invited... except for that guy. He doesn't look like he holds his liquor well, and I don't want anyone vomiting in my mouth.
  • Don't think classic rock is the only music I listen to. I also, on occasion, can stomach Gothic metal.

  • 7:43 am
  • 3 Comments