November 21, 2007

  • President Bedridden, Colbert Takes the Throne*


    *Post title not actually, in a literal sense,
    true.

    You never really hear when the president gets a
    cold. I mean, I'm sure he has them. Everyone gets a cold now and then. I don't
    understand why the media doesn't jump on this sort of thing. They jump on every
    other little thing the president does ("President Bush seen not wearing
    matching socks"), but it's only the major conditions that relate to his
    health. I suppose the problem is that a headline like "The President Comes
    Down with the Sniffles" doesn't have much pizzazz. Also, there are
    probably far better things to report on a slow news day ("Scientists
    astounded by Bat Boy's fraternal twin, Cat Boy"). Should the need ever arise;
    I'm sure they can spin it all out of proportion. "President Bush shows
    signs of weakness after sleeping an extra hour with a high fever." With a
    story like that people would probably riot in the streets, stocks would fall,
    Democrats would take over congress, and Opec would change the oil pricing
    currency to rubles (actually, I think most of these things have or will happen,
    regardless). Could you imagine if he got a cold at some important international
    conference? It happened to President Bush's father, President Bush, when he was
    in Japan, so it should only follow that President Bush (the son) gets sick
    again. I'm thinking maybe during the Middle East peace talks in Annapolis in a
    few days, he should just vomit in Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's lap, or maybe blow a phlegm
    ball into an American flag handkerchief every few minutes. I'm sure it would
    make a great ring tone.

Comments (1)

  • You know i have always wondered about that. I always figured that when you become president they give you some kind of special shot that will keep you from getting sick ever. (but will never be released to the public cause the pharamsitical companys would crash and our econmy would suck even more.)

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