It is finally New Years Eve. This is one of the few days a
year that I stay up all night. I am very much a morning person, so staying up
late generally doesn’t work for me. Tonight, however, I plan to stay up all
night just to say I was awake during the first minutes of the new year. I plan
to begin the day by cleansing my room. It will be an Inquisition against dust,
if you will. Afterwards, I plan to sit down in my chair and spend whatever time
is left until midnight watching anime. I will occasionally rouse from my
vegetative state for the needs of the body, such as important toilet time and
the occasional meal. See you all next year!

Y'know, I think I finally found a warning label
that I'm happy to have on a product. On the side of my can of mixed nuts, it
told me that the nuts were processed on machinery that is used to process
"nuts". I am so glad they told me this. I would have been very
dissatisfied if my nuts (get your mind out of the gutter) were processed on
machinery that may be used to process, for example, Laffy Taffy. With this
warning label, I know that my nuts were processed on machinery that is, by
design, used to process nuts. Now, I know some of you may say that the label is
there for people who are allergic to nuts. May I point out once more that the
warning was printed on a can of mixed nuts. The can made no effort in
disguising the fact that its contents are mixed nuts. In fact, they seemed to
want to advertise that, considering the font size they used to write
"mixed nuts". Let me not fail to mention all of the pictures of nuts
around the can's exterior. I think we have established the fact that the
container contains nuts, and the fact that the contents were processed on
machinery that processes nuts is irrelevant, in terms of allergies. I still
wouldn't want the Laffy Taffy machine processing my nuts. So the warning label
is unnecessary for people who are allergic to nuts, but is great for people
like me who do not like Laffy Taffy. On a related note, I am trying to push
legislation that would require all metallic surfaces to bear static shock
warning labels. Static shocks hurt, and it should be made clear that touching a
metal surface will result in this momentary discomfort, especially in the
winter time.

No, I definitely don't think my desktop is too cluttered.
It's utilitarian. I have all of my games and frequently used programs on the
right, and then I have the other folders, office programs, and computer
maintenance software on the left. Most importantly is the Ayu Ayu background
for the wintertime.

Anyway, I don't really have anything to write about
today. I wanted to say that I'm going to retire my "some thoughts"
posts. I decided to make use of xanga's pulse feature. It's a nice way to just
post simple thoughts, even though it's limited.

I always hear people telling me that
scholarships are so easy to get, but in my experience they are tougher than
hieroglyphic algebra. It's probably because I'm so generic. I'm just your
average white, middle-class male with no sports talent. While I am, pardon the
lack of modesty, smarter than most, many of the academic scholarships are won
by people who are waaaaaay. smarter than I is. The internet
doesn't make things easier. Most of the good scholarship sites are already
flooded with member more qualified than I am, so I'm probably more likely to
win the lottery. The good money's probably on the lottery. This is all old
news, of course (I think I may have already had a post like this a while ago).
Recently, I had an epiphany. I remembered my old high school guidance counselor
tell me to seek out scholarships that few people would apply for. Since most of
the words out of her mouth were puffs of hot air anyway, I didn't pay it much
heed. Now I think I see what she meant. I should start applying for some of the
socially evil scholarships. Since I am a white guy and can probably pass myself
off as Christian, I may be able to get some white supremacist money. Maybe even
some Neo-Nazis with all of the German in me. I wonder if some of those
self-extinction nuts would be willing to give me some money. They probably
won't need it anyway. I only worry about what some of these schmucks would make
me do to earn their money. I can write an essay on any old topic, but I don't
really think I want to "lynch some niggers" just for a couple hundred
bucks.

I don't often make new year resolutions. It's mostly because I am already perfect in every way and require no further improvements. While I do speak in jest, I really just don't want to change anything about myself. This year, however, I think I am finally ready to make a resolution to finish by the end of 2008. I truly detest all forms of organized religion and often take the time to make fun of them or argue with overzealous people. Every time I do, though, I feel a little twinge of guilt from my sanctimonious attitude. Not because I always crush them in an argument, but because everybody tries to use their own holy books as proof of their religion, and while I have read several books on the holy books, I have never actually read any of them. I plan to change that this coming year. By the end of 2008, I hope to have read every holy book for every religion I can think of. This may be tough since some religions don't have a set religious book, per se. Then there are the many sects of each religion that has their own ideas. I plan to focus on just the mainstream holy books, so hopefully I won't have to deal with too many secular differences. I have already read the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Flying Spaghetti Monsterism), which is the most important, and I am currently working on the Poetic Edda (Old Norse). The list of books includes:

• The Bible (Christianity) - This one I am actually looking forward to reading. Since I live in America, I am inundated with so much Christian zeal, that I'm surprised I haven't already broken down and read the thing. I have read a few select passages already, and I must say that it looks entertaining. (Judges 19: 22-30, anyone?)
• The Qur'an (Islam) - This one is probably getting a lot of attention because of the, y'know, scuffle going on amongst the oil fields. Anyway, the only thing worse than organized religion is someone who thinks they know what they're talking about. Here, specifically, I am speaking about bigots who think they "know" about Islam. They clearly do not, and I wish to read up so that I can argue with knowledgeably.
• Tanakh (Judaism) - This one is almost identical to the Old Testament, so I don't think I need to read this one. I might do some research to make sure my prejudice is correct, but for right now I will run with this assumption.
• The Book of the Dead (Ancient Egyptian) - This one isn't strictly a holy book, but I feel like reading it nonetheless.
• The Vedas (Hinduism) - I am not looking forward to this, simply because of the sheer volume of test I need to wade through.
• Tao Te Ching (Taoism, et al.) - This one looks like it might be interesting, but a yawn-fest at the same time. I may save this one for later.
• Whatever the hell Scientology's holy book is (Scientology) - This one is way down on the list, if only because I think of this more as a joke than an actual religion. I have no idea what I'm talking about, I'll admit, but I think my Pastafarian religion has more credibility.

That's all I feel like typing right now, but I plan to read far more. I also need to figure out if Buddhism has a holy book. That is one I am looking forward to. Time to head to the library and begin some reezerch.

Ah... Christmas. The perfect time for friends and family to gather around to loot and pillage for treasures conveniently located in a little town called Underthetree. After eating a hearty bowl of Frosted Flakes for Christmas breakfast, I proceeded to do several subtly loud morning activities, such as sing in the shower and "trip" on the stairs. Once everyone was awake at a reasonable hour (0600), we proceeded to, as I said, loot and pillage. My haul, while not large in quantity, was high quality. First and foremost was the gift that I had actually asked for: an iPod. I must say that after having an entire afternoon to play with it, I love my new toy. It combines two of my favorite activities: listening to music and making lists. The only real problem is that it is an 80GB model, and I am having great difficulty filling that thing to capacity. I already put almost my entire CD collection onto it, which amounted to about 841 songs and only a measly 3GB. I also downloaded some episodes of MythBusters and the third Blue Collar Comedy Tour, but that only took up another 3-ishGB. I hope to try and get some anime on there if possible. I also got some new clothes for work, which amounted to a new tie, two shirt, and two pairs of pants. Other than the tie, none of them fit, which makes for another holiday tradition of going back to many of the stores and making returns. I also got some myrrh, but I don't really need it. I would return it, but it seems Balthasar didn't leave a receipt. I think he meant it as a gag gift. What a wise guy.

Merry Christmas!

I know it's not technically Christmas until tomorrow, but I will probably take that day off from blogging, hence the preempted announcement of merry-making. If you really want the effect that badly, then come back tomorrow and read it again. I hope you all enjoy Tuesday responsibly. You can expect a full report on my loot the day after tomorrow. Until then, make sure you eat your figgy pudding.

Full title: Sweeney
Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

This was actually a pretty good movie. It was another one of
Tim Burton's good, gothic movies. He sure does a lot of those. I think it's his
niche. I'm sure he wants to direct more movies like Peewee's Big Adventure, but he
rarely gets the chance to because of the expectations of his fans. I think he
let a little bit of it out with Charlie
and the Chocolate Factory, but he needs a larger outlet. Perhaps
he could direct a remake of one of those Barbie CG movies. Anyway, I digress.

This movie is dark. A lot of people say it's gory, but it
wasn't too bad. All he really did was slit throats. If he wanted to be really
gory, he would disembowel them or something. I guess he would need to change
professions, though. That's another thing. This film finally gave barbers their
time in the sun. There are very few good movies with barbers in them. Sure,
there was Barber Shop,
but that was terrible, so it doesn't count. This was actually a good movie that
stars a barber. Granted, it shows the barber slitting the throat of people, but
you have to take the bad with the good. Again, I digress.

The story was superb. It was all about revenge and how it
completely consumed old Benjamin, who arbitrarily changes his name to Sweeney
Todd. I hate to use an old Dave Barry stand-by, but I should point out that his
name could be rearranged to say "weeded stony". I'm not entirely sure
if this is a coincidence. Anyway, the main theme revolves around how revenge
can thoroughly consume a person. It also makes an interesting point in the way
death does not care what social class you come from. The gray atmosphere of
London builds upon these darker themes swimmingly. It was all very enjoyable.
There were several points where I knew what was going to happen before it
happened, but this actually made the scenes all the better. I'm not a fan of
musicals, but at least the songs were bearable. They did break up the otherwise
monotone manner of the characters. A couple of them were catchy, though. The
ending was fantastic. I love when there is no denouement. It just ended.
I'm lovin' it.

It wasn't a perfect movie. I got bored during a few
scenes, but fortunately there weren't many. I also didn't like Ms. Lovett's
character design. This is just a personal thing. She was trying to be gothic,
to great effect, but I thought it was a little over the top. It wasn't
particularly funny either, but I really didn't expect much humor in the first
place. On the whole, I would give the film a solid: 8.976239034 / 10.0

I have the day off today, so I'm hoping to catch a movie this afternoon. I'm currently torn between Charlie Wilson's War and Sweeney Todd, but after a long and drawn out decision process, the coin came up heads. I'm going to go see Sweeney Todd. If I manage to find a ticket, I'll probably write a review about it, so check back here later this evening or more likely tomorrow morning. Until then, here is a picture of a duck.

It took me two mother-fu(expletive deleted)
hours to get from work to home. Apparently, yesterday was a state-wide event
wherein everyone (but me) forgets everything they learned about highway driving
in driver's education. Within the length of 27 miles there were three accidents
and two people pulled over. How can you get pulled over by a cop when traffic
movement doesn't even reach the double digits? Then there is that patch of
highway that the locals humbly dub "the mixing bowl". It is an area
where three highways intersect. It has more twists and turns than your average
roller coaster, with the added bonus of the adrenaline pumping sudden merges.
While traffic tends to get backed up from the high volume, it is hardly ever
this bad. There is only one thing I can do, and that is blame terrorists. I
don't know how they are connected, but I'm sure I can find a way.