December 3, 2007
-
I'm sure at least some
of you have heard of the recent hostage situation that took place at the
campaign headquarters of Hilary Clinton. It seems the schmuck decided to strap
a bunch of road flares onto his chest. While that's still dangerous, I don't
think it would do anything more than singe the carpeting (and himself,
obviously). This is all well and good, but the article I read was different
than just a recap of the event. To begin with, the title of the article read
"Hostages recover from ordeal" (sauce).
Yeah? No crap! What else are they going to do: completely lose their mind? That
would make for a more interesting headline. "Hostages go completely
bonkers from ordeal." I'm sure the subheading would be something along the
lines of "asylum workers thank the mad bomber for the pay raise this would
surely bring them." Anyway, I think an article about how people recover
from some ordeal is rather redundant, especially when it was something as
meager as a faux bomb threat. It would probably make a great story for a bar,
but I'm sure people aren't going to mope about it (at least, most normal
people). I cannot see a person twenty years from now begging for money on the
side of the street because he lost his job, wife, and cat Fluffles because of
being held hostage by a nutter with water pistol.In some more important news, it seems that staring at a
woman's breasts for a little while each day has been proven to significantly
increase the lifespan of the average man (sauce). Now, it is common knowledge
that women tend to live longer than men, so in the interest of fairness we, the
men of the world, request that women start dressing sluttier. No fat chicks.
Comments (5)
Hehe, recycled Mai picture.
Well, you may not have the extroversion of a Leo because of underlying traits in the placement of your other "planets", Mercury -- Pluto, Sun, and Moon.
It would be interesting if someone had a melt down after having a guy strapped with flares hold them hostage. I didn't catch the guy's motive, either, but I guess you don't need a motive if you're crazy.
Well, if you ask me, most women dress like sluts as it is, but the problem is that the wrong women are dressing as such. What's truly terrible is the woman who has large breasts, wears a low-cut tank top, but... her boobs are so big that they sag like water balloons. Truly terrible things to witness. My guess is that it makes men like longer because, like exercise, it increases blood flow and heart rate.
Just remember, women in relationships have their lives shortened, so men should quit taking away our life source to benefit their own!
~ Peace and Love
Crap, didn't read far enough in the article. At least my guess was right, I suppose.
~ Peace and Love
Maybe guys have a shoter lifespan for that exact reason. So it's only fair that women should refrain from showing any flesh at all and prolong the lifespan of men
Anyway, "fat" has many varying degrees. I could be called fat.
In fact i had not heard about hat news, mainly because anything i see that says "hostage sistuation", "clinton", "paris hitlon preganat", and "save the trees" i avoid like that plauge. Mainly because i know that nothing the article says will make me happy. (unless it is "A Preganat Paris Hilton and Hilary Clinton are being held hostage by tree huggers")
As some a psych major who has to write a paper every week criticing and point out all the erros done some studys, i am going to pretend to never have read that article so there for i wont have to critique it and point out how it is all wrong and baised. But instead just come to the conclusion that if i cover up my boob then men will live shorter lifes!
p.s i would also like to point out that boobs are just gaint balls of fat so in saying no fat chic you are kind of saying no boobs.