December 7, 2007

• America: We'll Sue Your Pants Off

  "See the show everyone's talking about"
  Okay, let's go over this phrase, shall we? It is afairly common phrase employed during radio and television commercials in anattempt to hype an otherwise mediocre TV show. According to my copy ofWebster's New World Dictionary (third college edition, property of the USgovernment), "everyone" is a pronoun that means "everyperson", which I take to mean on the planet. That is the greatest fallacyin this phrase. It makes the claim that every single person on the planet istalking about it (I'll grant them an allowance, in that they are probably nottalking about it at the same time). To make an example of myself, I would liketo state the evidence that between college, work, anime, and video games, Ivery rarely watch any television. The probability that I will be talking aboutthe particular show advertised is exceptionally slim and almost nil. While thisis enough evidence to disprove the claim in my opinion, it may not hold up in anyform of court, should I decide to sue for false advertising. I would likelysummon an individual whose statistical likelihood of television discussion isso indistinguishable from zero, that it may as well be null. Particularly, I amthinking of an Amish individual or a Buddhist monk. Their conversations wouldmore likely consist of topics ranging from horse anatomy to sand rakingtechniques. Never (yes, I said never) would you hear them utter anythingregarding a television program. I think the time has come to file some lawsuitsagainst this phrase, if only for financial gain.
  
  

  
  
  Postscript: I would like to point out that I was not talkingabout the show (thereby increasing the likelihood of the claim), but talking about the claim itself.
  Post postscript: I realize that the show in questioncould possibly be an anime, in which case it is quiet possible that I would betalking about it. In response to this, I say "shut up."
  

  • 7:21 am
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