December 19, 2007
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It's Official
Everything causes
cancer. I always assumed this was true, but a recent
article on the BBC finally proved it to me. It stated that a lack of
sunlight can lead to lung and/or bowel cancer. You see, the vitamin D your skin
generates while in direct sunlight is believed to slow the growth of tumors. I can
expect flip-floppy answers from politicians, but having a scientist waffle
strikes me as odd. First they tell us that we should avoid direct sunlight as
if it was raining botulin, now they tell us we need to get some sun. What's it
going to be scientists? I don't want any of this "everything in
moderation." We Americans don't do things in moderation. Everything is to
the extreme. Just as there are those people that pour radiation on their bodies
in those tanning salons, there are people like me who shun sunlight. It's quite
likely that my skin has completely forgotten how to produce vitamin D (my
motto: "fortified foods for the win!"). I don't want to have to start
going outside just for some vitamin D; there are people out there! Not to
mention the whole pupil contraction thing. The only time I want my pupils to contract
that fast is when I turn on my lamp first thing in the morning (well, second
thing. Looking at the clock and rolling over for another "five
minutes" is usually first). I digress. The point is that this shows that
everything causes cancer. If this shows that being in sunlight and not being in
sunlight can cause cancer, then there is no escape. Don't you dare say that
this proof isn't valid. If scientists can find that these two things that are
polar opposites can both cause cancer, then it is entirely seemly that all
opposites cause cancer, and they just haven't figured out how yet. They have
already proven that asbestos can lead to cancer, and that is supposed to be the ultimate fire insulator. If any more proof is necessary, then you'll just have to wait
until I make some more up. Trust me. I can act like I know what I'm talking
about.
Comments (5)
So if I sit outside with half of my body in the sun, and the other half in the shade, I still get cancer then?
"I don't want to have to start going outside just for some vitamin D; there are people out there!" Exactly my problem with leaving the house, there are people and the sun. (you can always by pass this by going out at night thought.)
thanks!
What about the people that are allergic to the sun? Guess this screws them over royally. Now, in addition to having the rarest allergy ever, they are doomed to have cancer. I'm smelling a new charity about to pop up.......
IS GAW RAIN