This is a homage to all those Harvest Moon comics my buddy does. Keep up the good work.

A message from the Please Don't Sue Jimbo Organization: This is from Steve Miller Band's "Abracadabra". If you like the song then buy their CD available at a fine pawn shop near you.

Everything causes
cancer. I always assumed this was true, but a recent
article on the BBC finally proved it to me. It stated that a lack of
sunlight can lead to lung and/or bowel cancer. You see, the vitamin D your skin
generates while in direct sunlight is believed to slow the growth of tumors. I can
expect flip-floppy answers from politicians, but having a scientist waffle
strikes me as odd. First they tell us that we should avoid direct sunlight as
if it was raining botulin, now they tell us we need to get some sun. What's it
going to be scientists? I don't want any of this "everything in
moderation." We Americans don't do things in moderation. Everything is to
the extreme. Just as there are those people that pour radiation on their bodies
in those tanning salons, there are people like me who shun sunlight. It's quite
likely that my skin has completely forgotten how to produce vitamin D (my
motto: "fortified foods for the win!"). I don't want to have to start
going outside just for some vitamin D; there are people out there! Not to
mention the whole pupil contraction thing. The only time I want my pupils to contract
that fast is when I turn on my lamp first thing in the morning (well, second
thing. Looking at the clock and rolling over for another "five
minutes" is usually first). I digress. The point is that this shows that
everything causes cancer. If this shows that being in sunlight and not being in
sunlight can cause cancer, then there is no escape. Don't you dare say that
this proof isn't valid. If scientists can find that these two things that are
polar opposites can both cause cancer, then it is entirely seemly that all
opposites cause cancer, and they just haven't figured out how yet. They have
already proven that asbestos can lead to cancer, and that is supposed to be the ultimate fire insulator. If any more proof is necessary, then you'll just have to wait
until I make some more up. Trust me. I can act like I know what I'm talking
about.

Fig. 12.18 - random Yuki picture

What exactly do you think about when you brush
your teeth? I brush my teeth nearly twice a day, and during those sixty or so
seconds, my brain completely shuts down. Since I have been brushing since
childhood, my body already knows how to go through the motions, so it requires
very little brain power. As a result, during these seconds of what is
essentially free time, my brain does next to nothing. There are no funny
thoughts. There is no "am I almost done yet?" There is no "hey,
my shirt is on backwards." Nothing. It is one of the few times that I know
of that I am not thinking about anything. Not only thinking, but brushing your
teeth is an all-consuming activity. You can't do anything else. I've tried
reading, but all I ended up with was a bent page (the horror!) and toothpaste
on my shirt. Eating while brushing rather defeats the purpose, and the flavor. You
can't pay your bills since you are in the bathroom (no, I don't believe in
leaving the bathroom while you're brushing). It's a complete resource hog. I
hope they hurry up and perfect nanotechnology so that they may apply it to the
area of dental hygiene. Just let a bunch of molecule sized robots clean the
scum off of my teeth while I take care of important business, like watching
MythBusters with a big bag of gummie bears.

The only time I maintain eye contact when I'm talking to someone is when I'm trying to be intimidating. It's actually fairly interesting. It's almost like a staring contest where you are allowed to blink, and you lose when you avert your eyes. You see, when you stare directly into someone's eyes while they are talking to you, they tend to look away if they feel intimidated. They avert their eyes towards the ceiling, or maybe to a spot on the floor, or maybe even to the door to see if a rescue squad is on the way. It's especially powerful if you just keep a poker face and only respond tersely. While I'm not comfortable nor uncomfortable with it, it does take a large amount of willpower.
To answer the question, in normal conversation, is a tough one. It's not that I am uncomfortable with it, it's just that I find it incredibly dull. I am fidgety. Very, very fidgety. Staring at the same face for the length of a conversation gets dull, and the "how long do I have to stare at that person's mole" thought can only go through your head so many times. It's a bit like staring at one of those cheesy motivational posters. It only takes a few minutes of staring at it before you realize there are more interesting things to look at, like the filing cabinet in the corner.

   

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Unfortunately, I have nothing to write about today, and Xanga's featured question is a crappy one. So, as a result, I offer you another YouTube video from my favorites vault. I know I say it often, but this is quite possibly one of the coolest things I have seen in a while:

I was talking with one of my English readers the other day,
and we were talking about the anime Kanon (the 2006 remake). She didn't think
it was all that great, but that's her opinion and I respect that (blasphemer!).
Please allow me a little self-indulgence while I give you my reasons why I love
Kanon so much.

The story - There isn't so much a story here, as there are
several stories. Rather than have twenty-four episodes that focus on one long,
drawn out story, they split the series into several "sub-stories"
involving each of the characters and how they relate to the protagonist. This
makes for a nice change of pace, as each of the stories is different and
entertaining. They all manage to blend in the perfect mix of humor, emotion,
and mystery. Granted, some of them may be farfetched, but that adds to the
allure. It's more entertaining than the same old school-age cliché that (while
I still love) is in almost every other anime of this type out there.

The art style - I have to admit that Kanon is a very pretty
anime. It makes use of the "sad girl in snow" mechanic to great
effect. All of the character designs seem to fit their personalities well. The
childish Ayu has a childish hairstyle with a hairband, the sword-fighting Mai
has her hair tied back, and Yuuichi has, thankfully, a male haircut (to name a
few).

The characters - This is the bread and butter for me. I love
almost all of the characters in the anime. Some more (Mai) than others
(Shiori), but they are all great. While Ayu and Makoto are very similar, most
of the other characters have their own unique personality and relationship with
Yuuichi, the protagonist. Yuuichi, while I'm thinking about it, is one of the
greatest male protagonists, and probably the greatest harem lead, to grace
anime. Rather than being a bumbling geek like so many other guys, he's actually
a more regular guy. He's also funny in a way that I can never emulate. Here are
my thoughts on some of the girls of the series.

Mai
My favorite character in the series. For a long time, I was
an Ayu fan. That is, until I started learning about Mai's story and seeing just
how awesome she is. Not only does she have two of my three main moé points
(ponytail and emotionless attitude), she even has some killer dance moves. Her
past is a sad one, and is probably a realistic representation of what would
happen if a true mystical healer would appear in the world today.

Makoto / Ayu
In a way, these two characters are so similar that I can't
choose between them. I think Ayu may edge out Makoto slightly, but only because
I think "uguu~" sounds funnier than "auu~" Their
childishness and small mannerisms are just so motherf~ckin' adorable, that I
can't help but enjoy when they come onto the screen. They do, however, have some
of the most depressing stories in the series. This is balanced out by the fact
that Makoto is a "foxy lady" and a bit of a prankster.

Nayuki
There are a lot of Nayuki fanboys out there, but I am not
one of them. Her story is one of the more entertaining, if only for the heavy
emotional trauma. I can also dig the blue hair and snow bunnies. The reason I
don't like her is because she always seems kind of out there. Oh, and incest is
just not cool, even for Pastafarians.

Shiori
Shiori is just the most boring character in the series. I
mean, it was fun to learn about her back story, but ultimately she was just a
dull segment. Sorry, Shiori, but you're at the bottom of the list.

I don't feel like writing any more, but that should give you
at least a small idea of how I'm thinking. I'm watching Clannad, which is from
the same company, but it just doesn't have the same kind of feel as Kanon. I
love it, but it just isn't as good. It must be the characters. They all seem
similar, and I can't really connect with any of them.

(20:32 Washington, DC time)

This is quite possibly one of the greatest things I have ever seen at the grocery store. They are, might I add, delicious.

I just finished my finals, so I don't feel like posting anything today.
Come back tomorrow.

Yesterday I had the chance to have a
fun conversation with one of my buddies. It was mostly a lot of odd topics like
Clannad, gaming clans for The Sims, and blocked BitTorrent traffic. Here is a
later portion of the conversation involving our thoughts on religion, reprinted
without permission of my friend. All opinions represented are ours and do not
necessarily reflect the opinions of Xfire, Xanga, or any other company that
starts with an X.

Fag[tal1ty]:
and the
cocaine on the dollar bills

Jimbo: heh

Jimbo: speaking of which, there
were a bunch of guys outside of my college in suits handing out copies of the
New Testament

Fag[tal1ty]:
heheh

Fag[tal1ty]:
you should
put on your pirate attire and hand out the pastafarian gospel

Fag[tal1ty]:
and be like

Jimbo: arrrr

Fag[tal1ty]:
"FREEDOM
OF RELIGION"

Jimbo: I always wanted to do that,
but I would prefer being with a bunch of people rather than by myself

Fag[tal1ty]:
yeah

Jimbo: y'know, for protection from
those peace-loving Christians

Jimbo: that'll beat my ass

Fag[tal1ty]:
peace
loving christians and their 2000 years of Peacing the middle east and sending
missionarys from b-52's

Fag[tal1ty]:
hehehheehe

Jimbo: good one

Jimbo: they are keepers of the
peace... with a VENGEANCE!

Fag[tal1ty]:
I guess
it's easier to keep the peace when no one is around

Jimbo: praise be to Odin

Fag[tal1ty]:
heh

Fag[tal1ty]:
OH MY RA

Jimbo: don't make me go all
Poseidon on your patootie

Fag[tal1ty]:
hehe

Fag[tal1ty]:
Osirus
Dammit!

Jimbo: "we Vishnu a merry
Christmas" from b3ta still makes me laugh every time

Fag[tal1ty]:
yup

Jimbo: though, Osirus dammit is up
there

Fag[tal1ty]:
you should
print it out and put it on your door

Jimbo: make some wrapping paper out
of it

Fag[tal1ty]:
hehe

Fag[tal1ty]:
ah,
politically incorrect has never been funnier

Jimbo: Buddha dammit!

Fag[tal1ty]:
hehe

Fag[tal1ty]:
Mother of
SETH!!

Jimbo: I should start mixing in
some more Norse allusions in my writings

Jimbo: that should be fun

Jimbo: What in Thor's name are you
thinking?

Fag[tal1ty]:
Yeah,
"I hope when the valkyries take me to Ragnarock, I may be able to play in
constant battle, where my Ping will always remain at 1"

Jimbo: at Ragnarok: "Now THIS
is podracing!"

Fag[tal1ty]:
heheh

Fag[tal1ty]:
immortality
is awesome

Jimbo: this week on MTV Cribs...
Valhalla

Fag[tal1ty]:
dude

Fag[tal1ty]:
that chair
of skulls totally matches the bloodstained curtains next to the copy of better
homes and gardens

Jimbo: FABULOUS!

Fag[tal1ty]:
haha

Fag[tal1ty]:
Now check
out my 6 chariots and nobel steeds

Jimbo: common pickup line:
"I'm hung like Yggdrasil, if you know what I mean."

Fag[tal1ty]:
yggdrasil
is a place man

Jimbo: it's the world tree

Fag[tal1ty]:
yeah

Fag[tal1ty]:
but it still
doesn't make much sense

Jimbo: well, religion in general
doesn't make much sense

Fag[tal1ty]:
true that

Jimbo: just try explaining the
Christian trinity to yourself

Fag[tal1ty]:
ok, its
some dude, his son, and some random entity

Jimbo: but they're not seperate.
They're the same thing

Jimbo: they're, like, three
distinct entities, but are on

Fag[tal1ty]:
so like god
and jesus are the same too?

Jimbo: *one

Jimbo: some think that

Jimbo: but others think that he is
suboordinate

Fag[tal1ty]:
what if
jesus has to go to the bathroom, does the holy spirit watch over his shoulder?

Jimbo: "Hey Kankaro..."

Fag[tal1ty]:
hehehe

Jimbo: the father, son, and the
holy spirit. Time to call Ghostbusters

Fag[tal1ty]:
hehe

Jimbo: oh,
and cue the theme music

I'm a chess kind of guy. I'm not particularly good at it,
but I have fun and can give the above-average Joe a run for his money. The
reason I mention all of this is because I have some ideas on how to improve the
game. You see, chess is several centuries old and I think it's time for a
makeover. First off, the board needs to be bigger. This would allow for more
space to move. You can keep the same number of standard pieces, but just give
them a little more elbow room to maneuver. I also propose that there be a few
new pieces added to a set.

Jester
This piece is something of a supplement for the King. It can
move just like a King. It can't capture any pieces, but if it is within one
square of the King, it allows the King to move two spaces in one direction.
This would be handy for a King to escape a potential trap. Naturally, this
piece would have a good ol' jester's hat on top.

Catapult
I think this one could be rather fun. You see, it moves like
a pawn, but it can't directly attack. Instead, it can attack any of the squares
that make up a 3x2 rectangle directly in front of it. If it attacks, it doesn't
move to the taken square, but the opposing piece is still removed from play.

Excalibur
This is a special neutral piece. It is placed randomly on
the (extended) chessboard, and the first King to "take it" gets the
ability to move like a Knight. I considered allowing him to move like a Queen,
but this would ultimately ensure the loss of the opposing side. Even the Knight
may be a bit of a stretch, but it should be limited enough to still give the
other side a chance.

Tyrannosaurus Rex
I haven't quite figured out how this one will work yet, but
I think it's a good idea.