February 17, 2008

• The Future of Harry Potter & Co.

  The ending to Deathly Hallows left me severely dissatisfied. It just did not cover enough of each characters future life. Even with Rowling’s later supplements (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19959323/ & http://www.bloomsbury.com/harrypotter/content.asp?sec=3&sec2=1), there just leaves so much unexplained. That’s where I come in. I would like to present to you my beliefs on what the future holds for several of the characters.

  Harry
  While he does manage to become the head of the Auror Department, Harry continues to be hounded by the limelight after his defeat of Voldemort. His every move seems to be reported by every tabloid from the Daily Prophet to Honest Squib’s XXX Revue. This constantly monitored lifestyle and frequent bouts of depression has cause stress on himself and his marriage. Twenty years after the fall of Voldemort, Harry and Ginny filed for a divorce. He is now the weekend guardian of his three children and has recently been charged with involvement in the Rotfang Conspiracy alongside several other aurors. He is later acquitted due to lack of evidence, but some suspect that his fame granted him the pardon.

  Ron & Hermione
  While they never shared a stable relationship, it seems to be further deteriorating at a steady rate since their marriage. Their oil and water personalities result in frequent rows, but both are too proud to get a divorce. This lackluster love-life has caused Ron to sleep around with several mistresses, including none other than Luna Lovegood (Lovegood by name, Love-very­-good by reputation), much to the chagrin of her husband. This has not gone unnoticed by Hermione, but she refuses to acknowledge it. This has resulted in increased aggression in her work in Magical Law Enforcement, earning her the nickname “Manic Mudblood”.

  Neville Longbottom
  He finally managed to show off his proficiency in herbology with his appointment as professor, but his wishy-washy personality has made him a mockery amongst students. There are rumors spreading that the herbology department of Hogwarts may be cut, as has already occurred with divination after the loss of Firenze and death of Trelawney from alcohol poisoning. Neville, after the death of his grandmother, succumbed to an addiction to happiness potions.

  This list to be continued when I’m feeling, once again, in a particularly crummy mood.

  • 2:10 pm
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