November 24, 2008
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Because I Hate Children
I'll be honest, I don't like kids. Whenever I see them, my brain automatically applies every negative stereotype it can get its hands on. To me, all kids are loud, tactless, smelly, and addicted to rap music. Nevertheless, they are the future generation, and I do want to take care of them (if only so they'll take care of me when I'm no longer competent). That's why I like the Toys for Tots program. It allows me to help children enjoy Christmas without having to actually see them (a big plus). I'm a bit poor, but I still stopped at a toy store to pick up these three things:
Each represents a special lesson to the children who receive them. Monopoly teaches them the glory of capitalism. It teaches them that if you want to succeed, you need to be tough. The Game of Life teaches another important life lesson. Specifically, it teaches that some of you may be lucky enough to win at life, but the vast majority of you will be losers. Lastly, the lightsabers teach that violence is always an acceptable solution to any and all problems. Also, it shows that everything is a black and white issue, where you are either for or against an issue. I'm glad I could help.
Comments (5)
It's amazing how you could take such an innocent cause and expose it's seedy underbelly. That's great reporting.
Anybody notice that the license plate of the car on LIFE has the vanity plate "LUV 4 LIFE"? And when did they get a speed die in Monopoly? Isn't it supposed to take a long time? It makes the kids sit still for hours. Now with the speed die, it may only be minutes.
Yes, I too hate children with a burning passion that is only controlled by their repeat beating/slapping-in-the-face.
I'm surprised you didn't get a copy of connect 4, teaching them that sometimes the solution is Diagonal... and then rub it in the losers face.
Perhaps you feel threatened by the competition for the same social status in life. :p
I hate life. The way to win life is to get more money than everyone else. That's awful.
One of the first things I bought my son was a big foam-rubber sword. He was only a few months old, but I wanted to be prepared. One day he is going to look at me with his large blue-green eyes, and ask me what the sword is for, and I'm going to proudly tell him "moral superiority".