December 1, 2008

  • Leonard Bernstein?

    Okay, looks like the end of the world is here. Everyone alright with Jesus? Good, good. Well, let me explain. I believe the end of the world is here for a very good reason. During my vacation, I saw somebody properly parallel park. This person did everything right: hit the directional, pulled ahead of the space, backed in, straightened out, and left the car. It was mind boggling. I had never seen a person outside of the drivers’ test actually parallel park. Everyone, even Tibetan monks, just drives forward into the spot. When I saw this happen, I actually had to leave the car I was riding in, pull out my ruler, and ensure that the person parked less than a foot from the curb (four freakin’ inches!). If I had the money, I would’ve written that man a check for a-hundred dollars, just for being the world’s biggest sheep for the DMV (or whatever your state calls the place where you get your license). I would then give him an additional thirty dollars if he promises to never drive again; because, he is clearly not the kind of person I would want to get stuck behind when driving. Nothing worse than a goody-good behind the wheel.

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