February 12, 2009

• Compressed Manliness

  Hey friends, this is your pal Jimbo here with a product that you absolutely need to have if you consider yourself a man! Let me tell you, when I’m not pounding out countless reps in my home gym or killing a deer for dinner with my bare hands, I like to keep my skin clean, clear, and blemish free. That’s why I use Malheursa. It is the only stuff I know that keeps my skin moist yet still doesn’t make me smell all flowery and girly. The last thing I want when I’m outside a bar moving semi-trucks with my teeth is to reek of lavender or French vanilla. Malheursa comes in far burlier scents, like turpentine, barbeque sauce, and used motor oil. If you value your body, and what man doesn’t, then you simply cannot pass this product up.

  (Possible side effects include diarrhea, constipation, constipated diarrhea, rashes, bruises, systemic lupus erythematosus, labored breathing, and sudden appreciation of Air Supply)

  

  “When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” – Elayne Boosler

  • 7:27 am
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