Around where I live, there are a lot of vanity license plates. I don’t know why, honestly. Maybe there’s a reward for buying one, like a free cupcake or something. Anyway, the point I’m trying to get to is that I recently saw this post’s titular license plate, BIGSLT. The first thought that came through my head after reading it was, “who decides to put this on their car?” That is when the rationalizations began. Now, for the sake of efficiency, I shall skip the interpretation that should appear obvious to all who have past puberty and have a functional libido. Everybody fine with that? Good. My best guess (y’know, after the obvious) is that maybe this minivan driver is a salt miner. “Big Salt”. Perhaps it means BIG SLIT because she has-NO! Bad Jimbo! You told yourself no dirty jokes this time. Okay, maybe it’s a quarry owner. “Big Slate”. This could double for a big fan of The Flintstones. There are lots of good (and clean) translations that can come when you are not limited by how many vowels you can use, which is a staple for vanity plates. Maybe it’s supposed to read BIG SLOT because she is a gambler. The letters were oddly crammed together, so perhaps it is meant to be read slightly differently as BIG-S-LT, which could be “big ass lot” or “big ass lieutenant”. I would go very far on a limb in assuming that the first three letters stand for “beige,” but that would be racist of me. At any rate, I was tempted to follow this fine lass in hopes of inquiring about her SALT services.
"A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” - Buddha
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