April 19, 2009

• KKK Goes Green

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  by Jimbo
  Jimbo News Network

  After a recent Ku Klux Klan summit, leaders from the controversial group have issued a press release stating their aims at helping the environment. Their primary aim is to cut carbon emissions from Klan activities. One of the greatest changes is the switch from burning to fluorescent crosses. "We light the cross as a reminder to members' faith," says a leading Klansmember. "We are protecting the world and our way of life from all threats: Jews, niggers, queers, chinks, and even our own carbon emissions."

  The switch was only one of the many proposed greening ideas to come out of the meeting. Other plans include, but are not limited to, cleaning robes with chlorine-free bleach, using 100% recycled lynching ropes, and investing in hybrid vehicles. "We hope this will clean up our image and encourage new members to join in the cause," continues the Klansman. "We are always fighting in the interest of the world."

  Various environmental organizations are lauding the decision. "These are the kinds of gradual changes in the world that we need," says a leading member of People for Ecological and Environmental Protection Systems (PEEPS). "Sure, they may be a disgusting and hate-filled organization that does little but piss people off, but at least they are trying to help the environment, so it all evens out." Other PEEPS members refused comment.

  • 6:12 am
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