April 28, 2009

• US vs FSM

  Well folks, it looks like it finally happened. The United States has practically declared war on the one true faith, Pastafarianism, the way of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. If you have been paying attention to the news at all, you should be aware of the piracy off the coast of Africa. Recently, American troops rescued a captured cargo freighter captain by shooting the pirates with sniper rifles. As freakin' awesome as that may be, this is practically a declaration of war. Pirates are the Flying Spaghetti Monster's chosen people, and an assault on one is an assault on all. As I'm writing this, the United States government is preparing to freeze pirate assets and encourage more international cooperation in suppressing the ways of His Noodley's people. With the recent events, I have no doubts that this will quickly escalate to a shooting war. (sauce)

  So followers, ready your cutlasses and make sure the powder is dry, because it's jihad time.

  • 7:18 am
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