October 20, 2009
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Conversations at Work
Coworker (CW): What the heck is that clicking sound?
Me (Me): Sorry, it's my pedometer.
CW: Why do you have a pedometer?
Me: Ah... it's part of my sex offender registration; I have to wear it. It gauges the frequency and intensity of my pedophilic thoughts. I thought it would explode the other day at the grocery when I saw the latest Teen Vogue cover. Phew!
CW: Oh, I see. I suppose the road to recovery begins by measuring the problem.
Me: Maybe. There's actually this site that lets you upload your score and see how high it can get. I'm a member of this atheist community on there and I'm trying to help it reach the top, but those Christian groups are whopping our [plural expletive deleted].
CW: Uh-huh, and that clicking sound, I assume, means...
Me: Oh yeah~ You definitely don't want to see inside my head right now.
CW: (sighs) This conversation is stupid.
Me: Hey, you started it.
