November 24, 2009

• Jimbo University

  Hi, I'm Bill and I am a goal-oriented professional with years of experience in my belt. Still, I felt like my life was getting into a rut. I had no higher education and no chance for advancing. It was time for me to get my degree. The only problem is that I don't have what you would call a normal 9-to-5 job.
  [sound of police siren in background]
  Oh shi-
  [sound of car accelerating quickly]
  Anyway, I just don't have time for the standard sit-down classes. I didn't know what to do. That all changed when I discovered Jimbo University's online degree program. I can-
  ["Pull over! Pull your vehicle to the side of the road now!"]
  'Oy, fuck you pigs!
  [sound of pistol fire and tires screeching]
  Now, I can take all of my classes on my schedule, whenever I'm ready. I can get my bachelor's in forensic studies or law enforcement tactics in less than three years. This program is really working for me.
  [sound of tires screeching]
  With my recently acquired, uh… "stimulus money," college is more affordable than ever. Thanks Jimbo University!
  [sound of more gunfire and an overhead helicopter]

  

  • 6:25 am
  • 1 Comment