Could it be? Is it possible? Is there actually going to be a post about Jimbo's anime season where a Chi series does not hold high honors? Well, I have seen stranger things. Who knows, without a new Chi anime, there may actually be some surprises. Get ready for another prioritized list of anime in this cold, cold season (previous season).

Nodame Cantabile: Finale
Genre: romantic-comedy

No doubt the creepiest scene in the series.

OhmygodOhmygodOhmygodOhmygod! It's the final season of Nodame Cantabile! For those of you outside of the loop, this is one of my favorite series in all of Animedom. I have high hopes for the ending, since the second season left on something of a cliffhanger. This is one of the obscenely rare circumstances where I am optimistic. I just hope that optimism doesn't get thrown back into my face covered with spikes and phlegm.

Kimi ni Todoke
Genre: romance

Guy from second story: HURRY UP AND MAKE-OUT ALREADY!

This is a carry-over from last season. It got knocked down a peg due to Nodame Cantabile, but it is a still one of the best. We get to continue the adventures of the socially retarded Sadako as she completely fails to grasp the understanding of high school politics. Her posse includes: the boy who watched The Ring too many times during those formative years, a girl who wishes she was one of the boys, and a duck.

Dance in the Vampire Bund
Genre: loli-supernatural

In an alternate universe, Humbert Humbert is a werewolf.

After the thoroughly nausea-inducing (in the sense that it is so ungodly boring that you start to feel experimental about bulimia) first episode, we are dragged into a fantasy world where a vampire princess decides to hook up with a self-induced(?) amnesia struck werewolf. The two then enter into the land of sunshine and kittens and try to save the gingerbread people from the evil milk monsters. Okay, most of that plot synopsis is made up, but that's only because I'm two episodes in and still have no clue where this anime is going. I'm thinking SHAFT is about to shaft us all again. Well, the Lolita is adorable, the monsters are squishy, the clothing rips off easily, and the eyes are seizure inducing. What more is needed?

Omamori Himary
Genre: ecchi-romance

Epic face-palm maneuver!

Well, the above three anime are the only series I have any interest in this season. The remaining are fillers. Poor ones, at that. This anime is about a dude who is the descendant  of some demon hunters and thus needs protection from said demons by a cat-girl who looks a little bit not exactly like Mai from Kanon. There are some other female characters introduced, like the obligatory childhood friends who takes care of male lead in his parent's stead and an emotionless Lolita-like sea nymph. This series pushes no envelops and takes no risks. This is most evident by the fact that they hurried the beach scene to episode two. Gee, I wonder what's next? The onsen? The Christmas/Valentines episode? I can barely contain my Ben Stein level of excitement.

Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu
Genre: comedy(?)

Yoshi used super glue on table. It's super effective! Yoshi is hurt by the backlash.

The reason I put a question mark next to the genre identifier is because, while it tries darn hard, it simply isn't funny. The show is about a school where students are capable of summoning chibi versions of themselves that have power levels based on test scores. Yeah, that's what I said. The only reason this series remains on my list is because it does have the background romantic clash and the occasional flash of panties. I'm shallow.

"It's like talking to a freakin' wall" - Western Wall visitor

by Jimbo
Axis News Network - Special Correspondent

Ranchers in eastern Texas have announced their success in breeding a red heifer that is without defect or blemish. "It sure is a purdy cow," says ranch owner Cliff Barclay. This cow comes at the end of a long standing US-Israeli joint effort called the Neo Laughing Cow Program, an attempt to breed a red heifer to fulfill the sacrifice requirements in the biblical Numbers (chapter 19) and begin work on the third temple in Jerusalem. "We can't just walk onto the Temple Mount," says Rabbi Malachi of the Third Israeli Temple Syndicate (TITS). "All of humanity is practically unclean in this day and age. The only way we can get back on that mound to sweep away the Dome on the Rock and Al-Aqsa is to purify ourselves with the wet ashes of the red heifer. Only then can we get to rebuilding our temple once more."

In a surprise move from Texas, Cliff and his employees refuse to give up the heifer. "Gosh, we just worked so hard on breeding it that it feels a shame to go and let it be sacrificed," states Mr. Barclay. "I mean, we want Jesus to come back, but golly… I don't want to give up my baby."

TITS is understandably irritated. "We have been waiting years for this heifer to be born," says Rabbi Malachi. "We haven't had a setback this major since '67." He expressed displeasure, but considers it a temporary setback that will pass shortly after some diplomatic discussions with the Texas ranchers.

When asked about this turn of events, visitors to the Western Wall in Jerusalem gave responses like "I don't know what you're talking about" and "what's a heifer?"

It is time to face the fact: Pokémon is a dead franchise. They have no new ideas and have resorted to rereleasing old titles. I believe the only way to save this nostalgic franchise is to follow the path that so many others have. Pokémon needs to go "dark". Here is what I picture…

It is a dystopian, seemingly plutocratic future. Social classes are rigorously segregated and the poor frequently live in the worst of squalor. The lead character, heretofore referred to as Jude, is the child of a low-class family and works long nights in a factory that manufactures ultra balls for the rich. Jude always enjoyed watching the technically-illegal but unenforced underground Pokémon fighting. One day, a seemingly well-to-do gentleman is walking where he should not. Jude took advantage of the opportunity and mugged him. The gentleman hands over some handheld electronic and had three Pokémon on him (a water-type, grass-type, and fire-type naturally). Jude suddenly hears sirens behind him, grabs one of the pokéballs, and jets.

Now with a Pokémon at his disposal, Jude enters a series of cage matches. With a little money in his pocket, he returns home to find the police waiting for him. The pokédex he stole had a tracker that led the gentleman back. It turns out he is a famous Pokémon researcher. He is willing to drop charges if Jude could help identify Pokémon that exist in the poorer districts of the nation. Thus begins a tale of redemption and social commentary as Jude explores the world, fights in upper-class "official" leagues, fills the researcher's pokédex, and eventually makes a name for himself in the mixed up world.

Starting from the bottom of the social barrel, of course, does not make it easy for him. The researcher does not offer any monetary compensation for the task (essentially blackmailing Jude). In order to even enter the official league, Jude needs to scratch together the entry money by winning in the underground circuit. Once he manages to leave the poor wastelands of his home city, he enters a world where everyone looks down upon him. PokéCenters charge money and may even refuse service, forcing Jude to occasionally resort to shady, alleyway Pokémon healing services. Gym leaders are smug pricks that require large sums of money just for the privilege of challenging them. You will have to fight for every cent of the unknown, Pokémon-universe currency. Mugging rich people in dark alleys, performing errands for local brothels, and defeating VIP Pokémon for pay from the mob are all common endeavours in Pokémon Dark.

In the end, after defeating a government variant of the elite four, you find that the entire world is held in the despotic grip of Mewtwo's self-made clone: Mewthree. You defeat him / capture him and release the world from his mental control. An epilogue shows, however, that all is not well. As a result of Mewthree's defeat, the world's infrastructure begins to collapse and the fate of the world may be worse than before.

Politics:

100% of the votes I have given for presidential elections were for a black candidate
I have voted Democrat 100% in all [three] of the elections I have voted in

Gaming

I own roughly 2.1566402% of all Wii games (19 / ~881)
About 28% of the games I own are for the PC (PS2 comes in second with 17%)
I own 38 short-sleeve t-shirts. Six of them have video game themes (~16%)
I have logged 1,595 hours (66.5 days) of game time on Xfire. Of those hours, 424 (~27%) are from The Sims series (sadly, this does not include all of the hours logged from the original The Sims and its army of x-packs)
Gaming has been a significant part of my life for approximately 11 years

Animu / Mango

Not including rewatches, reading manga, and a few odds and ends, I spent over 35.82 days (859.68 hours) of my life watching anime
Assuming each volume costs $10, I have spent approximately $3,410 on manga
About 49% of the DVDs in my collection (bonus discs not included) are anime series and movies (137 regular movie and TV show discs – 130 anime discs)

Music

Approximately 61% of the songs on my iPod can be considered classic rock
I have 16 CDs in my car. 4 of them are Nightwish CDs (25%)
Approximately 3% of the played songs logged on my Last.fm account have been by Boston. Second is Kansas at 2.3%

Xanga

I have had my Xanga site for over 5 years
I have 55 subscribers
I subscribe to 64 others
I have posted 328 pulse entries
Assuming I did not add them up incorrectly, I have posted 1,152 blog entries

Computer

My "My Pictures" folder has 1.74 gigs of pictures
My rather meager 2 gigs of RAM is enough to completely contain the original The Sims (memory requirements: 1.4GB on HDD + 64MB RAM + 2MB graphics)
I have 4 Internet browsers currently installed and ready for use: IE, Firefox, lolifox, and Chrome

Other

The only time I did not have a job while going to college was for 1 semester (Spring 2009)
Since moving out on my own, I have broken 3 dishes (three glass cups)
Only five pieces of large furniture that came with me are NOT from Ikea (2 sofas, a coffee table, an end table, and a filing cabinet)

Hi, you're tuned in to Classical WETA, Washington's classical music station. That was Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto no. 2 in C Minor. We would like to take a moment to remind you that Classical WETA is sponsored by you the listeners. There are no commercial breaks on Classical WETA, which is why we regularly interrupt the music to remind you that we solely depend on you sending us money. Let us take the length of time regularly reserved on other radio stations for commercials breaks to read off a list of donors who have graced us with money, but are definitely not corporate entities. First is Tammy Sanders who-

*click*

When I first bit in to McDonalds' new McLobster Burger, I was-

*click*

Just log on to I Dig Big dot com and register for the contest for free Doobie Brothers tickets. We're going to take a little commercial break-

*click*

It's time for Motocross! This Sunday at Nissan Pavilion! And remember, kids' seats are still just-

*click*

That's it for Wash Traffic. Stay tuned through some commer-

*click*

You're tuned in to DC 101 – DC's rock station. [abrupt voice change] Are you tired of that spare tyre around your waist?

*click*

-ank Adams, who owns a small model train museum in Manassas. We thank him, as everyone, for his donation. Next is-

*click to CD*

Me: Gods dammit! Why must every good radio station in the area play commercials at the exact bloody, bleeding same time!?

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by Jimbo
Lead Alchemical Analyst
Jimbo News Network

In a recent press conference held by the Jimbo University Institute of Alchemical Research, scientists have announced their success in finding a method for transforming lead into gold. They could not go into details of how they do so, citing legal reasons; however, they did demonstrate the ability by taking a lump of lead and turning it to gold with the touch of a handheld device. Upon close inspection and analysis, it was pure elemental gold. To quote the chief spokesman: "suck it, Flamel!"

As a direct result of this news, the price of lead steeply increased to record levels, while gold prices likewise decrease sharply. The handheld transmutational device has yet to be released to public sale, and only one device is known to exist. The global markets, however, are already abuzz about this revelation. China and India, who had been purchasing gold quickly, suddenly halted any further investments. Deep sea treasure hunters are throwing up their hands and opting for actual jobs.

Jimbo University scientists made clear in the press conference that they have not yet determined a method to work in the reverse: from gold to lead. The price of lead is already nearing the price of gold and is expected to surpass it by the end of the day. Reports are coming in from various jewelers presenting plans for new, lead-based jewelry.

In anticipation for the release of the yet to be named lead-to-gold device, various tech companies are preparing for what is sure to be a hit. Apple already has an iPhone app in the tubes ready to include functionality. Video game publisher Electronic Arts has already trademarked the title Super Alchemy Adventure and Lead to Gold: Apocalypse! Sex shops across the country are already marketing full-body paint that changes color from gold to dark grey depending on lighting.

Welcome readers to another emotion-exciting edition of Cooking with Jimbo. Last time, as you may recall (probably not), we made a heaping dish of Chicken Thighs with Leeks [...]. This time we are going to go with something that has a far simpler, two-syllable name: Beef Stew. And we go a little something like this, hit it!

Step 1: Purchase Ingredients
The first step, this time, is an easy one. All of the ingredients come in convenient bags so you never have to touch any of the ingredients directly with your filthy, polluted hands. You will first need a small packet of beef stew powder. This item is conveniently located in your grocery store next to the other little packets of powders, which include things like gravy, chili, sloppy Joes, and ambrosia. Some people have told me that all of these powders are exactly the same and only labeled differently, but it's so tasty that I can hardly care. Anyway, you also need two pounds (0.907kg) of stew beef. My grocery store, which is awesome, even offers beef that has been already cut to the proper proportions for stew. If your grocery store is not awesome, threaten the butcher. I'm sure that exchange will end quickly. Next comes two bags of frozen vegetables. I trust you all by now to pick the proper vegetables to put into beef stew (pro-tip: do not pick up a bag of corn and a bag of peas). Lastly, pick up a pound of boneless, skinless chicken breasts. This has nothing to do with the stew, I just forgot to pick it up when I was at the grocery store and am pretty miffed that I have to go back in order to cook dinner tonight.

Step 2: Brown the beef
Put the cubed beef into a large pan and fry it on high heat for a few moments. Be sure to stir it around occasionally so I don't have to come over and smack you in the head for burning the beef. Once most of the outside has turned a light brown, remove the pan from the heat. Take a moment to gather your thoughts before moving on. You are about to face the greatest, most challenging step in any of these cooking specials…

Step 3: Mix the stew powder with water
You cannot comprehend how seriously I take this step. It all goes back to my love of Kool-Aid. It's a very simple process: you mix powder with water. When it comes to Kool-Aid, nobody seems capable of doing it right. They make a huge mess; they make it too thin; they make too much/too little. It's just not pretty. That's why, when it comes to mixing powder with water, I want you to do it right. Take a measuring cup and fill it with one-and-a-half cups of water. Next, open the packet of beef stew powder (carefully, you foolish klutz!) and dump the entire contents into the measuring cup. Dispose of the packet and begin stirring the mixture with a spoon, being extra careful to not spill a drop from the top of the cup. Once the powder is completely diffused with the water, put it aside. If you screwed it up, I swear to Allah I will come over there and beat the Kool-Aid out of you.

Step 4: Bring together the ingredients
Here it is, folks. It is time to bring all of your stew ingredients together. Pull out your favorite slow cooker, Cheryl, and add: the browned beef, the water-powder mixture, and the bags of vegetables (well, the vegetables inside the bags, not the bags themselves). Next, take out your favorite wooden spoon, Judy, and mix up all of the ingredients. Finally, put on Cheryl's cover and crank her up to low and set a timer for eight hours. Hopefully you did not begin cooking this in the evening or you're going to have a socially taboo breakfast. Cheryl is called a slow cooker for a reason.

Step 5: Wait
It's going to be eight hours. I hope you brought something to read. Just don't open the lid, under any circumstances. Even if the house is on fire and you absolutely must protect the stew from the raging inferno, you do not remove that lid.

There are a lot of mysteries in video games, but there is one that always leaves me scratching my head: just how do Sonic the Hedgehog's eyes work. From the very first game cartridge to modern day promotional artwork, Sonic always had two distinct pupils, but the eyes in their entirety remain connected near the bridge of his nose.

My initial thought was that his entire head was a single ocular orb that both pupils attached to. His eyes worked by the revolving of this single sphere. This posed several problems, however. First is that it leaves little room for his brain. Granted, Sonic isn't known for his thinking, so there isn't much brain to be concerned with. Most of his cranial musings revolve around chili dogs and getting his jollies from ladies of other species. I'm tempted to declare his neural storage similar to Twi'leks; they keep some of their brain in spiky tubes jutting from their heads. The other problem is that his pupils occasionally display independent movement and focus. There is always the possibility of complex choreography among ocular muscles that stretch and relax eye tissue, but I hesitate with such complexity due to Occam's razor.

Lately, I have been of the mind that each pupil is actually its own independent "eye" held together and in place by the white substrate the makes up a large percentage of the hedgehog's face. I haven't quite determined what exactly that substrate is, or how it works, but given a couple more minutes I'm sure I could make something up. It would have to be flexible, to allow a wide range of emotions that Sonic is required to display. It would also need to have a high surface tension and viscosity to hold itself in place vertically on his face, but still be soft enough to allow his proper eyes' freedom of movement. It also needs to be reflective to get the shine that Japanese developers demand from all of their characters. I don't know of any material that matches all of these criteria (I'm an IT major, not a chemist!), but I'm sure such a substance would likewise turn lead to gold and grant immortality at the same time (especially true since Sonic games continue to make a mint even when the character refuses to die).

While I'm at it, I should keep in mind his eyelids. I don't even want to think about that...

Given all of the news coverage of the president, it's sometimes hard to imagine that he is, in fact, a person and has a regular life. This is the side we never see. Go ahead and try to picture: the president getting bored in a meeting and doodling in the margins of his paper. The president falling asleep on the couch in the evening while watching CNN. The president feeling blue and eating an entire package of Oreos in a single sitting. The president cutting a meeting short because he had to get to a toilet immediately.

Okay, maybe you don't have to picture that last one. Anyway, the point I am trying laboriously to get to is that I'm catching up on a bunch of games right now and not feeling particularly creative. Until next time...