February 24, 2010

• Apple Bans "Adult" iPhone Apps

  by Jimbo
  Jimbo News Network

  In a move that is sure to result in irritation and the exchange of worried looks, Apple has announced that it will ban what they call "adult" iPhone apps. The company claims that exposure to these apps by children will negatively affect their marketability. Organizations that will be affected by the rule change and ban include popular news organization, GPS, bird-watching, and other application developers that do not produce anything that youth care about. The goal is to purge the app store of all boring and grown-up applications to better accommodate Apple's target audience.

  "It is all ridiculous," says the developer for popular knitting app, Ms. Tonkins. "This is clearly ageism." Ms. Tonkins continued by exclaiming how these whipper-snappers nowadays would have done well to take advantage of these once readily available adult applications.

  In a phone interview, an Apple representative explained that the decision was difficult, but for the company's best interest. "The youth are our biggest market," explains the representative. "We want to ensure that all parents feel safe purchasing every latest product we develop for their needy, demanding spawn." By enforcing the new rules for app developers, the app store will only have products for the youth crowd including Disney Channel, Hot Topic, and Pogs apps.

  While this move will likely alienate adult Apple users, the company feels it will not hurt them too deeply. Recent poll results show that there are no adult Apple users, anyway.

  • 7:26 am
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