Welcome back, viewers. You are tuned in to Cooking with Jimbo on J-TV with your host: me! Now, last time you may remember we cooked up a delish-dish known as kadhai murghi. Let us continue to build on that success with another scrumptious dish: Zucchini Primavera. Now, I should warn you all ahead of time that this recipe does call for some advanced cooking skills, like boiling water, so the faint of heart should change channels immediately. With that little disclaimer done, let us move on.
Step 1: Purchase the Ingredients
Regular viewers should be well acquainted with this step by now. All great recipes start by acquiring the necessary ingredients through any means. Even if you have to lie, cheat, and steal, you will get them. Fight the power! Anyway, for this particular recipe, you'll need 2 (two) tsp (teaspoons) of olive oil, an onion, 0.5 (zero-point-five) teaspoons of salt, a bell pepper, a zucchini, 3 (three) cloves of garlic, one (1) pound of penne pasta, 1.5 (one-and-a-half) cups of peas, 0.75 (three-quarter) cups of crumbled feta cheese, and 0.5 (five-tenths) a cup of white wine. The wine is of particular importance. It doesn't matter if you need to sell a kidney or remortgage your house, you must purchase the most expensive wine available. If you don't, this recipe won't work.
Step 2: Prepare the Ingredients
Even though you have all of the ingredients spread out across your counter / table / aircraft carrier deck, they are mostly worthless to you until you have them prepared. Don't worry; it's simpler than it sounds. First of all, you must take your sharpest cutting utensil and avoid cutting your fingers off. While doing so, you must cut your veggies. Cut the zucchini lengthwise, and then thinly slice it. Next, peel the onion and dice it up the way you like. Mince the garlic into tiny pieces: the smaller the better. If you have a microscope, be sure to cut it down at the cellular level. The bell pepper is a little tricky. You need to use all of your strength to pull out the core by the stem. Some wussies would suggest cutting a ring around the stem first, but they don't know what they're talking about. After that, cut it how you like.
Step 3: Bring Water to a Boil
Take a pot big enough for all of that penne pasta and fill it with water. Put it over heat and wait for it to boil. The amount of time this takes varies with the heat source. It will take very little time over a nuclear reactor or your car's hood, but it will take significantly longer over a space heater or a stove top. Just be patient.
Step 4: Cook Pasta and Ingredients
With the water boiling, dump in the pasta and follow the directions on the box. If you purchased pasta that did not come in a box, then you don't even need to cook it. You can eat it raw, dummy! Anyway, heat the oil in a pan over medium-high nuclear reactor heat and add the onion and salt. Cook it until the onions just start to turn brown. Next, add the pepper and zucchini, and cook until they start to become soft. Hopefully you chose a big enough pan, or you will likely be making a mess by this point. Stir in the garlic and cook for a little while until the heavenly smell of garlic fills your lungs, and the nostrils of every person in the household. Pour on the wine and let it simmer for one (1) to two (2) minutes. By this point, the pasta should be done cooking. If it isn't, throw everything away and start over. If it is, great! Save half (0.5) a cup of the water and drain the rest.
Step 5: Mix the Ingredients
For most intents and purposes, the cooking should be done. Return the pasta to the pot, pour in the saved water, dump on the ingredients from the pan, and mix in the feta cheese. That is it! As soon as the feta cheese liquefies from the pasta's radiant heat, you will be ready to pretend to enjoy the meal while watching TV and burping.
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