December 2, 2010

• White House Sets Execution Date for Decerega

  by Jimbo
  Jimbo News Network - Political Correspondent

  After hitting President Obama in the lip during a basketball game, Rey Decerega is scheduled to be executed on the front lawn of the White House at 09:00 EST tomorrow morning. The execution, which takes the form of a public lynching, is intended to be "an example to others," says press secretary Robert Gibbs. "The public needs to be taught that this sort of activity will not be tolerated."

  The action is garnering unusual bipartisan support. Democrats are hailing the move as definitive proof that not all of their party-members are spineless wusses. Republicans are grateful that there will be one less Democrat in the country.

  Some are expressing surprise at the president's bold declaration. Recent polls show a huge rise in popularity for a president with a, quote, "totally bad-ass scar on his face."

  The gallows have already been erected on the lawn and other preparations are going smoothly. The president has already expressed his personal desire to be the one who pulls the lever. "Nobody fouls the president," he said with a scowl.

  • 5:32 pm
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