June 5, 2011

• Keep My Soldier Safe?

  I saw an interesting bumper sticker on the road today. It was one of those yellow ribbons with the words “Keep my soldier safe” upon it. Being the kind of person I am, I began to think too much into this. I suppose the driver is the spouse of a soldier. Though, the word “my” is a bit… ambiguous.

  The big thing that caught me up was the audience. Who was this driver trying to address? “Keep my soldier safe.” It’s a request/command. Considering it’s on a bumper sticker, is it trying to address other drivers on the road like me? What do you expect me to do? By paying my taxes and generally supporting the military, I’m already doing my part. I’m sure most of the drivers on the road are the same way (warning: possible false consensus).

  Is it being addressed to God(s)? I’m pretty sure there are other, more direct ways to communicate this request than bumper stickers. Being omniscient and all, I’m pretty sure He would know before you even mention it.

  Wait, maybe I’m looking at this the wrong way. Unlike other slogans like “Support our troops” or “Save the ta-ta’s”, this is a request that does not have a side. It’s about this particular driver’s soldier. It could be encouraging protest to end the wars and bring all of our troops home. It could be about an enemy soldier. Who am I to say what kind of soldier this driver controls?

  Clearly, this driver is expecting a level of trust I’m not ready to give. It was for this reason, officer, that I was forced to nudge that car into the lamp post over there. Civic duty, sir.

  

  • 5:29 pm
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