November 17, 2004

• Why I Hate Action Animes
  

  #1: Action animes follow a general chain of events. It opens with an intro to characters, and also an intro to some big enemy. A fight ensues. The usually long-winded fight is ended and is followed by some sort of intermission where new moves are learned and/or new characters are introduced. Soon a new enemy is introduced and the process is repeated.
  #2: Action anime fights follow a general chain of events. The fighters are usually equal, or the enemy has an advantage (the good guy(s) never has an advantage). If one doesn't already have one, a fighter gains an advantage. After the disadvantaged side gets pwnzored for a while, that fighter gains some sort of strength and the fighters are tied again. Repeat as necessary until the "good" guy(s) win.
  #3: Fights are unnecessarily long-winded. Throughout the fights, characters often ramble about how cool and/or screwed-up they are. There are also enough pauses for fighters to have epiphinies and/or flashbacks.
  #4: Every fighter has at least one attack that's outrageously powerful and cool-looking, but is only supposed to be used in a life-threatening situation. Also, the opponent tends to wait patiently for the attack to charge up, which leads to...
  #5: All non-physical attacks require some form of charge-up time. All of them. Generally, the cooler the attack, the longer the time to charge.
  #6: Every series has a fighters' tournament. Every single one. It's getting old, really quick.

  This is an incomplete list, but I hope it opens some eyes.
  

  • 4:30 pm
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