Adventures in Virginia (i.e. that state no one goes to)

My days carry on like any other. Only now, I don't have anybody to directly talk to. Also, my time on the internet is limited, so I am very out of the loop. Most of my time is spent in class or at work, where I primarily read... read alot. That's about all I do. I get paid to read. And, maybe, move the occasional mattress. Whenever anybody asks where I work, I just say I read for a living. The best part is, I work just down the street from a Borders book store. Now, if only I had enough money. Most of my paycheck goes into (a)college, and (b)gas. I hope some historian can quote me as saying, "maturity sucks."

   I read an article about how some Kyrgyz (voted most difficult place to pronounce) are staging a rally outside their presidential office. There really was no reason. They claimed it was to "put an end to corruption." To be honest, it reminded me of that call-in to Lazlow in Grand Theft Auto III. It's a rally! It doesn't matter what it's about! If you don't join, you're not a patriotic citizen. It's for hope people!

On a completely unrelated note, I refuse to comment on the Revolution's change to Wii.

I went to the barber yesterday, and the two of us got into a deep, philosophical discussion about the placement of speedometers in cars. It seems a growing number of new cars are putting their's in the center of the dash, beneath the rear-view mirror. Supposedly, this is so you can check if there is a cop behind you, and then quickly drop your eyes to see how much you are over the speed limit. Personally, I prefer the behind-the-wheel speedometer. This way, when I'm behind someone in the left lane, I can easily look down and determine that he or she is driving at about the same speed as a computer programmer running track. Then, through a series of nerve impulses and electrochemical reactions, my brain can ask the theological question, "what is he doing in there? Decorating a cake?" Ultimately, I pass him on the right and see him talking on the phone. He's probably micromanaging his cake decorater.

The barber and I also got into a huge discussion on chewing gum and its shortcomings. I'm not even going there!

Of the one-hundred Nintendo games that changed the world...

I was reading the newspaper the other day (I really need to stop. It's bad for my health), and I saw an article that piqued my curiousity. It seems the ex-Domino's Pizza CEO, Tom Monaghan, is establishing a Catholic town in Florida, dubbed Ave Maria ("ambassador" in Latin). Certain parts of the article led me to this new "series" in the expanding repertoire of my blog.

Red-Baiting the Jimbo Way
Today's Target: Tom Monaghan

    As you may have heard, Tom Monaghan is creating a town called Ave Maria, Florida. Within this town, he is establishing a large Catholic cathedral, a university, and 11,000 new homes. While this may seem like a "return to tradition" endeavor, it is actually just a Communist plot to take over America bit by bit.

    For you see, within Ave Maria, Monaghan will have complete control over commercial business. He will see to it that not a one will sell any form of pr0n or contraceptive. The sale of capitalist propaganda is also frowned upon, with a hammer and sickle!

    Monaghan is also beginning to establish his own security force. For his cathedral, he is placing a large, rectangular lake. A strange move, but a reliable source has determined what is habituating the aquified decorum: alligators! "They moved in as soon as the water showed up," said building site director Skip Doyle. This development is sure to cause alarm, as everyone knows of the mind-control capabilities Domino's pizza has over alligators.

    Aside from alligators, Monaghan is building a force of a different type; one that has the potential to make armies crumble, and also sue my pants off. The soon-to-open Ave Maria University will be, of all things, a law school. With a battalion of Catholic-Communist lawyers, no one can stand in his way.

    Tom Monaghan's quest for Communist control must be stopped. The bastards (oops) as the ACLU are trying to oust him, but need more help. Keep your eyes open for any news regarding a nuclear arms deal between the Union of Catholic Socialist Republics and China. We don't need a Florida Missle Crisis.

Note: Most of the above is false, with the exception of the gators, law schools, and pr0n prohibition. Thank you, and remember: FIRST AMENDMENT, FOO!

    It seems that on Friday, the Queen of England turned 80. To celebrate, she invited 99 Britons who have the same date of birth to lunch, where they drank shots of Absolut with pinkies firmly in the air. Don't mess with those 80-year-olds.

    Anyway, I did some research (i.e. my neighbor didn't get his newspaper), and the British are beginning to question their thousand-year-old monarchy. The reason is because all (~69%) of them dislike Prince "Next-In-Line" Charles. Apparently he's too mixed with politics, and the last things Englanders want is a political monarch. They far greatly prefer his son, Prince "Too-Well-Mannered-For-Nickname" William. I mean, just look up a picture of the guy! Now I'm not gay, but you have to admit that that is one handsome dude. I'll bet his teeth aren't even screwed up.

    I digress, there is talk in the U.K. for a more "democratic" monarchy. The people want to choose their figurehead. They want a say in who they give $65 million of their taxes to. Nonetheless, the British still don't want to do away with their outdated monarchy. A British research firm did a survey (the closest thing to an American gallup poll) to determine what Englanders thought was their greatest icon. A whopping 48% said monarchy. That only just topped roast beef, which had 42%. Take note: I am not joking.

Well, it took me some time (10 seconds), but I managed to put together a chart that accurately portrays the course of my day within 24 hours:

I got my income tax refund the other day. A whopping $21.00 into the bank. Yup, I'm definitely bolstering the economy with that hefty sum of cash.

My Thoughts on Yotsuba&

Recently, I purchased the first volume of Kiyohiko Azuma's Yotsuba&! If you read my last post, you might be under the impression that I did not like it. Good heavens, no! I really enjoyed it. I merely said it wasn't as good as AzuManga Daioh. My main gripe with Yotsuba& is that there is only one really unique character, the titular Yotsuba. All the others are characters one would expect in any other manga. AzuManga's characters were more diverse, from the wild Tomo to the quiet Sakaki. Their personalities bounced off of each other in a great and humorous way.

The graphics in Yotsuba& are just what you would expect in an Azuma manga. Burlesque facial expressions and stupid situations abound that just make you want to, literally, LOL. I plan to get the next volume with my next paycheck.

Peace out for now!

Well, I just beat Kingdom Hearts II yesterday. I tell you, I got a nice "gamer's high" afterwards. I'm sure you all know the feeling. You're deeply immersed in the game, then it's suddenly done. Then there's that awkward time when you feel disconnected from the world around you. Doesn't it feel great? I love it. I look forward to it after every game. Oh, and for those of you who care, here are my game stats for K.H.2:

Game Lv: Standard
Jiminy's Journal Completion: 84%
Gummy Routes Completion: 7% (w00t)
Healed Party Members: 63 times
Saved by Mickey: 2 times
Most Used Form: Valor Form - 21 times
Used AntiForm: 3 times
Most Used Summon: Chicken Little - 6 times

OMFG, those stats equal t3h whatever! Oh, and Yotsuba& does not even compare to AzuManga Daioh.