March 13, 2007

• Bath Time

  Yesterday, I did something that I have not done in several years. I actually took a bath. It was not a planned event. I had planned to take my usual shower, but then I thought, "it's spring break; let me do something different." So I pushed down the plug and filled the tub up. The first thing I realized when I got in was that I forgot to take my clothes off. Okay, I'm kidding. The first thing I actually realized was that all of the bathtubs in the world must have gotten smaller. When I was younger, I could fit into any bathtub perfectly. I could probably have drowned in one. Now, I practically had to curl into a fetal position just to get in. It is clearly a conspiracy set by the bathtub companies. Anyway, for the first five minutes or so, my thoughts were consumed by monosyllabic sounds such as "ahhhhhh" and "mmmmmm". In short time, my brain finally realized where it was, and decided that a cleaning was in order. I must say, I doubt my hair ever had more volume. I never even owned conditioner, and suddenly I feel like one of those girls on the Herbal Essence commercials. I think it has something to do with the combination of hot bath water and soap. It temporarily alters your brain, making you think you are a woman (unless you're a woman. I don't even want to know how it affects you). I got out of the tub and felt pretty, oh so pretty. I felt pretty and witty and bright. I summarily put on my deodorant on, combed my hair, and went on with my day, a man once again. I'll have to remember never to do that again.
  
  

  
  

  • 7:18 am
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