This just in folks from the Jimbo Rumor RADAR. It seems that on March 28th, Star Wars will be celebrating its thirtieth anniversary. To help celebrate, the US post office has decided to become just a little more awesome. To begin with, they are replacing several mailboxes with special R2-D2 mailboxes, as seen in this startling image.

Aside from that, little is known. Rumors hold that the post office will begin issuing new Star Wars themed stamps. Now, I'm no stamp collector, but I wouldn't mind getting some of my nerdy little hands on a book of these. I would totally use them on any college applications or tax paperwork in the future.
The USPS has plopped up an official teaser site for the event, but it gives up little actual information: USPS Jedi Master

Since I spend a good majority of my day sitting in traffic,
I have a lot of opportunities to hear commercials. Some of them are silly, some
of them are cool, most of them are stupid (not in a good way). I noticed that a
lot of them recycle a lot of phrases that, upon closer scrutiny, make very
little sense. Here are a few of my favorite examples.

“Direct from factory
prices” – As opposed to what? Aren’t most products from a factory anyway? I
could understand if another company used the phrase “pulled out of our a*s
prices.” Perhaps they are trying to directly compete with raw material
producers. You don’t often hear lumber sellers use the phrase “direct from the
woods prices” though.

“Digitally
remastered CD” – I would imagine this was necessary. You have to convert
the analog music into a digital format in order to store it on a CD anyway.
It’s redundant.

“…is an equal
opportunity employer” – I don’t like this phrase. Being an “equal
opportunity employer” is the law. It’s required. It’s like a company bragging
about the fact that it does not, to the best of their knowledge, actively kill
their employees.

“Everyday low prices”
– “Low” is a very ambiguous word. It suggests the concept of a price that
is small, like a buck-fifty. Instead, many companies use “low” in the sense of
“lower than the cost of purchasing the Vatican.”

“5-star crash-test
rating” – I touched on this one in a past post. If you ask me, a car with a
5-star test rating should be a car that you are physically unable to be killed
in. Five stars means that it is perfect. The only car I can think of that can
achieve this kind of perfection is one that does not have an engine. Though,
even that is a little iffy.

“Meow meow meow meow.
Meow meow meow meow” – This is a misleading phrase, as very few products
that use it have any actual meow in their mix. Most of it seems to consist of
cardboard.

Past installments

29 Jan 2007

SPOILER ALERT!

I had a lot of fun with the first one of these I did, so I
thought I would bring it up again. I watch a lot of cheesy romance anime, so I
figured I would have another go at selecting various characters that should’ve been together, but didn’t.
Here we go.

Sara & Sedi

Soukou no Strain

If this couple stayed together, then this anime would have
been totally different. It would have
changed from a banal mech-anime, to a fun romantic-comedy involving mechs. It
could have been a struggle for the lame Sedi to win over the top student in the
academy, Sara. It could’ve been full of montages, happy-go-lucky music, and
overused expressions. Instead, Sedi gets himself killed in the very first
episode. Crap.

Seiji & Ayase

Midori Days

To be honest, while I was watching Seiji and Midori’s story
unfold, I was always rooting for Ayase. Midori was just so… lame. Ayase just
had more pizzazz. She made the series more fun with her various schemes, when a
simple announcement would suffice. So she waits until the end of the series,
and forces Seiji to become a Mayan priest and rip her heart out. At least in
the manga, she has a fall-back guy.

Mamoru &
Emelenzia

Mamoru-kun ni Megami
no Shukufuku wo

I can’t seem to explain it, but I am totally moé for deadpan
attitudes. Yuki, Rei, Mai, and now Emelenzia. It must be some kind of a
disease. Anyway, I just think these two would look good together. First off,
the official couple of the anime is a little… weird-looking. Emelenzia is at
least at Mamoru’s shortness. She’s also roughly the same age, so it should all
work out.

Kei & Herikawa

Onegai Teacher

This is another one of those instances where the primary
couple is just weird. I don’t care what the circumstances are; student and
teacher should not be together in that way. This seems like a more stable
couple. In this particular scene, she is clearly saying to Kei “I’d dress like
a whore for you.”

And that’s it for this installment. I hope it wasn’t too
long. I might do another one of these if the mood strikes me.

Yes friends, my li'l White Lightning has reached the ripe old age of 14. In car years, that would make it about a bajillion years old. It is still going strong, and to celebrate I plan to give it a nice quart of oil. That should keep it running for about another year. Maybe I'll wash it if I find the time, but I don't want to get its hopes up. So here's to you, oh great station wagon of awesomeness. Drink up!

Every now and then I recommend things on this blog for you to look into. Today's post is not going to be one of those. Instead, it will be quite the opposite. Here is a list of things I do not recommend.

• Eating a dozen rows of Marshmallow Peeps in one sitting.
• Any anime where the plot revolves around an all-boy school.
• The game Sonic Riders
• The book The Purpose Driven Life
• Not checking to see if the toilet seat is down prior to dropping a load (if you know what I mean).
• Not paying attention to the column in front of you while walking (or running, for that matter)
• Dancing the Macarena in public when no one else is doing it.
• Wearing a Hawaiian shirt to work when it's not Hawaiian shirt day.
• Dying

There you go. If you avoid all of those things, you should have a nice, full life. Don't say I never helped you.

Yesterday, I did something that I have not done in several years. I actually took a bath. It was not a planned event. I had planned to take my usual shower, but then I thought, "it's spring break; let me do something different." So I pushed down the plug and filled the tub up. The first thing I realized when I got in was that I forgot to take my clothes off. Okay, I'm kidding. The first thing I actually realized was that all of the bathtubs in the world must have gotten smaller. When I was younger, I could fit into any bathtub perfectly. I could probably have drowned in one. Now, I practically had to curl into a fetal position just to get in. It is clearly a conspiracy set by the bathtub companies. Anyway, for the first five minutes or so, my thoughts were consumed by monosyllabic sounds such as "ahhhhhh" and "mmmmmm". In short time, my brain finally realized where it was, and decided that a cleaning was in order. I must say, I doubt my hair ever had more volume. I never even owned conditioner, and suddenly I feel like one of those girls on the Herbal Essence commercials. I think it has something to do with the combination of hot bath water and soap. It temporarily alters your brain, making you think you are a woman (unless you're a woman. I don't even want to know how it affects you). I got out of the tub and felt pretty, oh so pretty. I felt pretty and witty and bright. I summarily put on my deodorant on, combed my hair, and went on with my day, a man once again. I'll have to remember never to do that again.

I didn't post today. Wait, yes I did. Just now. Rather, just then. Or, as I'm sitting here now, soon! I'll let you be the judge. Did I post today?

• You don't often hear violins in rock and roll. What's the deal?
• Why do so many places have double-doored entrances, but only allow the use of one?
• The lead singer for Boston died yesterday. He was the greatest voice for the greatest band of all time. Everyone here at Jimbo's Ramblings is mourning his death.
• Can you believe I've only done seven of these?
• I often say college is worthless, and Colin Powell's bachelor's degree in geology proves it.
• Just once, I would like to hear a song rhyme the word "heart" with "fart".
• I don't like how real-estate commercials brag about being an "equal housing opportunity". It's the law. It's like a company bragging about how it doesn't actively kill its employees (much).
• I always wonder whether anybody would take any of the rubbish I write seriously. Then I realized there are people that take everything seriously.
• Just once, I would like to see the zombies in Resident Evil, Dead Rising, or one of those other zombie survival games arbitrarily break out into song and dance, such as in this somewhat famous music video.

I thought that I would do a post about some signs that make
me think someone (such as me) watches too much anime. Now, I have seen lists
about this topic before, but frankly they are all a load of hogwash. I want this
to be a somewhat realistic list. There will be none of that bologna that sounds
funny but hardly ever happens. So here is the list. After each point, I will
give a little personal example of how each one fits me. Let’s see how many some
of my regular readers fall victim of.

• You start laughing at jokes in an
  anime before you actually see them. (personal example (PEx): I always
  start cracking up whenever I watch an episode of Azumanga Daioh with the
  Yukari-mobile)
• You call out fighting moves with the
  characters on the screen. (PEx: I do this when I’m playing the Naruto
  games)
• You cheer everytime your favorite
  character enters the scene. (PEx: This is me whenever I’m watching
  Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and Yuki makes an appearance. It’s a
  disease.)
• You start intermixing Japanese words
  into your everyday speech. (PEx: I actually don’t do this. I have,
  however, uttered the occasional “uguu” a la Kanon’s Ayu.)
• You have a list of theme songs in your
  head that are separated by whether you like them or not. (PEx: Like:
  Onegai Teacher, Evangelion, Midori Days, Azumanga Daioh. Dislike: Crescent
  Love, GTO, Chobits)
• You cannot draw realistically because
  anime has corrupted your imagination. (PEx: me trying to draw
  anything. I have had no formal art education, but most of my doodles are
  rather anime-esque.)
• You start using exaggerated body
  movements in everyday life. (PEx: I’m especially fond of the arm-swing
  and point in banal situations.)
• Your computer background is rarely, if
  ever, without an anime wallpaper. (PEx: Guilty. I have a couple staples.)

Things I have said in public that I should have reworded.

• "My belt could use some oil."
• (When asked what book I was reading) "Oh, just a book on how to stage a successful coup d'etat."
• "I was working it all last night, so my right arm is a little sore."
• (When wearing a tie) "Never trust someone who wears a tie."
• (When putting together a bookshelf) "Just put some of that gunk on the tip, and put the rod into the hole."
• "I know what's wrong with the world. Everyone on it."
• "Can the next arbitrary office policy involve something scatological?"
• "Holy mother of Allah!"
• (With a waiting room full of customers) "God, I am so sick of customers!"
• "Man you guns."