Don’t you hate it when you’re sitting on the toilet so
long that your legs start to get numb?
Microsoft Outlook needs to allow for custom skins. My
computer at work could do with a little pizzazz.
Hey there officer. Nice badge, nice badge.
J is the only letter that does not appear on the
periodic table of elements. This is why I propose Hydrogen be renamed
Jimbonium. Scientists… make it happen.
Unless you are in an environment that forbids it, I
highly recommend that you breathe regularly.
Remember: It’s impossible to ban all restrictions.
There will always be that one restriction that restricts all other
restrictions.
Just once, I would like to see the phrase
“highly-successful executive career as a hobo” on someone’s résumé.
I’m blind Carl… not stupid.
Somebody recently said to me that they think they have
carpal-tunnel syndrome. All I could think of after that was a fish flopping
around in a subway.
The weather is getting nicer, and my truckers’ tan is
improving as a result.
I see the world as a very troubled and very funny
place; often at the same time.
When I’m driving, I hate people who drive too slowly. I
also hate people who drive too fast. I recently realized that I hate a lot of
people.
I broke a nail, and my hair is ruined. Can you believe it? This thing cost me fifty dollars! BANG!
Out of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which one
do you think is picked on most by the other three? Probably Famine.
Shouldn't you be... I dunno... robbing a bank or something?
Ahh... the 80s. The decade when the men had more hair than the women.
Comments (1)
Crew socks work as well...
Oh, and I think Pestilence was the worst of the horsemen because Famine, War and Death don't have the word Pest in them.