I read an interesting article on the BBC just the other day. In a fun twist on punishment, police chiefs in Bangkok are punishing rule breaking cops by making them wear Hello Kitty armbands. This has to be one of the best ideas ever. Embarrassment can be a very good criminal deterant. The Hello Kitty treatment may not be everyone, especially gay people, Hello Kitty fans, and people who have enough freedom of movement to remove the armband when out of the police chief's view. Lets also not forget delinquent cosplayers who are prone to embarrass themselves in public on their own accord. This news rather reminds me of those Wal-Mart thieves who had to wear those big boards that stated "I stole from Wal-Mart". I guess what I'm trying to say is that they should extend embarrassment to punish other crimes. It wouldn't be cruel punishment, but it may very well be unusual. Remember, we are barred from using cruel AND unusual punishment together, but it's okay if we use them separately. Those Muslim terrorists may get a kick out of finding themselves naked in the middle of the St. Peter's Square. We could get some big companies to sponsor these punishments as advertising and to get the police some much needed funding. Maybe force violent gang-bangers to wear "Birdie the Early Bird" armbands from McDonald's. There is some real potential here! Maybe I should write my congressman. The only problem I could see is that the embarrassing clothes may suddenly become popular, and people would start committing crimes just to wear them.

Midna (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess) – A reader
pointed this one out to me recently and I could not agree more. A good,
non-clichéd princess would do well to mix up the character list. I think she
should maintain her imp form instead of transform into her princess form like
Zelda. She could also hover as she moves around like Mewtwo. She could use all
sorts of Twilit attacks, and her Final Smash could entail putting on the shadow
armor and transforming into a monster.

Miles "Tails" Prower (Sonic the Hedgehog series) –
I know a lot of people have clamored to include Sonic in the brawl, but I
disagree. Sonic is such a one trick pony. He jumps on enemies and that's about
it. Tails is far more robust because he's inventive, plus he can fly. He could
use cartoony rocket launchers and other Q-like gdgets to administer hurt. For a
Final Smash he could board a giant invincible mech for some mega-KOs.

Jack (Harvest Moon series) – You should've expected this
one. With his wide array of skills and farming implements, Jack could be a
formidable opponent. It would probably have to be the Jack from A Wonderful
Life, if only because he looks more like a brawler. His Final Smash could be
called Agricultural Revolution, wherein he summons forth multitudes of Tartan and
Piranha Plants from the ground to attack his foes.

Capt. Olimar (Pikmin series) – This character could have
quite a unique fighting style. He would be relatively weak by himself, but
given enough time to muster forth a large Pikmin army, he could become quite
formidable. He would be able to perform a wide variety of attacks, like throw
yellow pikmin with bombs, or throw flaming red pikmin. Plus, he could leap off
of the heads of brave, sacrificial pikmin to make it back to land. For his
Final Smash he could radio for the Dolphin to carpet bomb the stage.

 SOS-Dan (Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya) – Who said
they had to be limited to video game characters?

All images come from their respective artists, which I did not ask for permission to use their pictures. If the original artist would like his or her work taken down at any time, don't hesitate to ask. I'm pretty much a nice guy.

I'm not going to post much today. I'm just going to let you know that most of this weekend will be spent replaying a bunch of old games, beginning with Banjo-Kazooie and going from there. I don't think I'll have time to post, but I'll be back eventually. Consider this another sabbatical.

Y'know, I am really looking forward to the new Super Smash Bros. game for the Wii. Not only will it have another Kirby character, Metaknight, and Mr. Solid Snake himself, it was recently announced that they are going to have a new and improved Adventure Mode. This mode, which has the subtitle "The Subspace Emissary" is going to have an actual story and character development. Here is the latest video for it:

When I first saw it, it reminded me a bit of the Heartless in the Kingdom Hearts series. Perhaps that's where is draws its inspiration. Who knows. I'm wondering why they are riding Metaknight's Halberd. I can't wait to find out. Oh, and Peach definitely looks like she's going to kick some serious darkside butt in that video. What with her parasol and all.

What is the meaning of life?
What do you mean? Life in general or human life?
Human life. What were we put on this planet to do?
I'm not too sure, but I could probably take a guess.
Shoot.
I just want to say one word to you. Just one word. Are you listening? Plastics.
Plastics?
Right, plastics. I think nature, or a god if you prefer, made us come into being for the sole purpose of creating vast quantities of plastic. Honestly, I think nature is getting its money's worth.
But what happens when nature gets all the plastic it needs?
I think nature will have all the plastic it needs when we are extinct.
That may take a while.
You're right. We need to seriously step up production. What products are there that don't use plastic and we can slide some into?
Um... golly, that's a noodle scratcher. How about foodstuffs?
Nah, plastic is indigestable, so there's little we can do there. Besides, most food is packaged in plastic anyway. Though, I'm sure those White Castle burgers are probably fifty-percent plastic anyway.
Oh! How about fertilizers?
Plastics don't really decompose, so that won't really work. Besides, we have have plenty of other manufactured chemicals to use as fertilizer anyway. We use plenty of plastic in fertilizer distribution too, from those push lawn spreaders to even those lawn spikes.
Gosh, I can't think of anything else.
Bah! We'll leave it to others to decide. We need to make more of that soft stuff they use on playground floors. Get to it, pronto!

Note: I am not an environmentalist and fully support the use of plastic. While I do endorse recycling, I'm certainly not going to go out of my way to do it. I just meant for this post to be a fun dialogue, so lay off me tree-huggers.

• I'm
  tired of only seeing hot dogs at eating competitions. I want to see
  something like fettuccini Alfredo in a contest and see how many speed
  eaters keel over.
• If you
  sneeze, and no one is around to say "God bless you," does a god
  bless you anyway?
• There
  is no tactful way to word "pit stains."
• There's
  no act more rebellious than drinking milk that's past its expiration date.
• You
  would think that rapists would start wearing goggles while "on duty"
  to protect from pepper spray.
• Cops
  don't like it when you point out of the window at a flock of crows and
  say, "hey look, a murder!"
• Biscuit
  Lincoln
  would be a great name for a band.
• I
  wonder how many times a day Google gets pinged.
• You
  can tell the AC in my car is broken by the way that my left arm is
  significantly more tanned than my right.
• I hope
  no one sees me as the kind of guy that sits in a cafe and writes. That's
  just silly.
• I see
  nothing wrong with mediocrity.
• Ever
  have one of those days when you accidentally wash your body with shampoo
  and your hair with soap?
• It
  would be stupid, but I am sure that there are people out there with
  leather bath towels.
• Once
  some new microorganism appears that degrades plastic, we are going to be
  screwed.
• It is
  an odd feeling when you find a birthday card from several years ago that
  still has money in it.
• I
  wonder how many deaths are caused by Christmas decorating every year.
• Who
  was the sadist that named those things at the start of list points
  "bullets"?
• If you
  are ever lost in China,
  just keep saying "wang chung" and eventually all of your
  problems will be solved... one way or another.