Month: August 2008

  • I Ain't Gonna Live Forever

    I have been exceptionally busy this week on two fronts. Not only did my classes start up again (quite a hassle), I also have the new Harvest Moon to keep me busy. There's probably aren't going to be too many posts until I get settled down. All I can offer you today is a few pictures of my apartment that I took for my family. Enjoy! (Click pictures to enlarge)

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    Where I spend most of my time. I used to have a TV on the wooden entertainment center, but I had since purchased a new one that wouldn't fit. Now, it is the resting place for several of my gaming systems.
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    My other favorite place. The home of my computer and about half of my library.
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    My eating table. With a delightful view of the window and TV, this place is fantastic for the epilogue to a Cooking with Jimbo episode.
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    This area is zoned for food heating procedures. One important note is the startling lack of oven. Clearly, I do not bake, only fry.
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    View one of my sleeping area. This view shows my makeshift closet and manga collection. Not much to say, really.
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    My bed and the remainder of my library. This is probably the closest to being "made" that my bed has ever been since I moved here.
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    A final, all-encompassing view. It's a small place, but it does what it needs to, which is protect my stuff from the elements. Oh, and I have a bathroom, but it's a bit too small to get a good picture of it. I also didn't bother taking a picture of the laundry machine.

    Until next time, Jimbo is on hiatus.

  • I can't believe this. It's just not plausible. Here I am with a copy of the newest Harvest Moon game in my hand, and I simply do not have the time to play it. What kind of righteous god would allow this travesty? I think I'd better drop some classes just to make time for this game.

  • My classes resume tomorrow. No, I'm not excited about it.

  • Statistical Implications

    Here are some interesting statistics and the implications I glean with the assumption that a god exists.

    Of all the people struck by lightning, about 83% of them are men. Gods must have a thing for phallic jokes.

    Approximately thirty-thousand Americans are involved in toilet related injuries each year. This is quite possibly the most satisfactory proof of god I have ever seen. It would take a lot more than random chance to get involved in a toilet injury. There is definitely a higher power involved.

    On average, right-handed people live nine years longer than left-handed people. They must be the mistakes. They can't just be outright smitten or people would get suspicious. The gods just let them live for a while, and then kill them off early.

    Approximately 109 species and subspecies of birds have become extinct since 1600. It's clear that the gods' chosen species (us) need to progressively eliminate any species that get too close to the gods' domain.

    At the top of Mount Everest, water boils at only 150˚F, as opposed to 212˚F at sea level. This is clearly because it is closer to the gods' domain. One of them finds it easier to reach down and help us out.

    Source: Botham, Noel (2007). The Ultimate Book of Useless Information. New York: Penguin Group Ltd.

    (Disclaimer: I'm an atheist. This is just a fun thought experiment.)

  • In Sickness and In Health

    Well, I'm feeling a bit better. My nose is still stuffy and my muscles are tired, but otherwise I am functional. I am now 100% capable of hobbling around the house as if I aged fifty-three years in a day's time. Hey, I live alone, so I'm allowed to be melodramatic. To be fair to my tired muscles, I did sleep almost three-quarters of the day away. About half of that fraction was asleep on the couch, which is great for a chiropractor's retirement fund. I actually had to break down and stomach a Tylenol just to sleep more (this time in my bed). I hate taking pain medicine. It's like admitting defeat.

    On a side note, do any of you experience an extreme clarity in senses when you're sick? For some reason, when I get sick, all of my senses seem to be turned up to eleven. I can feel every pain in my muscles, I can see better, noises are louder, I can smell just about everything (a lot of Febreeze was used yesterday), and everything I ate tasted different. It's weird.

  • <font color="crap">
    Sick in bed...
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    Seriously, it feels like an aircraft carrier is parked on my head. If any of you lovely female readers want to come over and nurse me back to health, you're more than welcome.

  • A Retired President

    I don't think I could be the president. Not because I'm not
    egotistical or megalomaniacal enough, but because I simply would not know what
    to do with myself after my eight years are up (yeah, I'd get reelected). During
    a presidency, a person is top of the world. That's right: the world! He is just that important. After
    stepping down, painfully, the former president gets pushed to the side. Nobody
    cares about them anymore. They get a presidential library and their name listed
    in public school history books, but they no longer count for anything.
    Sometimes you would hear random talk about the former president. "What did
    what's-his-name do about NAFTA?" "It just goes from bad to
    worse" "Jimbo was a much better president. Let's just crown him
    emperor." (I would crown myself, of course. Can't have such peons touching
    my crown.) The only time you really
    hear about an old president is when he dies or when he announces support for a
    nominee. Let us all face facts, though: a former president that supports a
    particular candidate means absolutely nothing. Sure, it's a nice gesture, but I
    don't think the American voter is going to be swayed when there are so many
    other important issues, like stance on video game legislation. Now, the whole
    presidential funeral thing has me slightly more excited, and may be one of the
    main reasons I would want to enter politics (along with being the first
    Pastafarian president). I would want my body attached to a nuclear missile,
    launched into space, and detonated for no reason other than because it will be
    really pretty. I would like that explosion accompanied to some death metal
    rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner. If the Japanese get offended: tough.

  • My Savior: An Old, Wrinkled Copy of Time Magazine

    What is the deal with the magazines in waiting rooms? I had to go to the dentist not too long ago, and there were tons of magazines. The only problem was that they were primarily women's magazines. There were shelves of Good Housekeeping (an oxymoron), Parenting (one thing: cattle prod), Cosmopolitan (how to turn on your man: get naked), and Everyday Food (pizza). I only survived by finding an old, wrinkled copy of Time magazine from a year back (Huckabee's gonna make a comeback). In hindsight, I realized that this was true for most of the waiting rooms I ever visited. I suppose I can understand the reasoning. The longest waits would likely be for mothers bringing their kid(s), hence the copies of Parenting magazine designed to arm them with more weapons in their psychological war with the children. All I am asking, and here I am asking nicely, is for more magazines oriented to the Y chromosome. Maybe some Field & Stream (balance out that Parenting crap with a healthy dose of gun training), GQ (fashion tips!), Golf Digest (most boring magazine in the world), and Game Informer (ZOMG, Fallout 3!!!!11!!one!!). There wouldn't need to be any pornography, of course, simply because it's hard to burp the worm quietly in a dental waiting room. It would probably be better if the pamphlets next to the magazine rack weren't so depressing. Apparently bad breath is one of the first stages of death, and the only way to prevent it is to brush, floss, use mouthwash, and die anyway. Also, to the TV companies, could you do something about daytime cable? It sucks!

  • Some of my favorite books

    What follows is a list of just a couple of my favorite books. Before I begin, let me just write briefly about what I omitted. First, I removed all of my humor books, which would otherwise dominate this list. George Carlin, Lewis Black, and especially Dave Barry was excluded. I highly recommend all of their books, mind you. I also excluded all of the books from my favorite author, Michael Crichton. Lately his books have been lacking in quality, but he's still great. The list is also not in any particular order. I tried ordering them by how much I enjoyed them, but failed. I just listed them randomly, but you can make whatever order out of it you wish.

    The Time Traveler's Wife
    Audrey Niffenegger
    Sure, it's a romance, but it is the unique premise that truly separates this book from the five dollar smut at the grocery store. You see, the main protagonist has this peculiar genetic flaw that forces his body to unconsciously drift through time. As a result, his main squeeze has known him through all of her life. This resulted in quite a shock to him when an iteration of himself finally meets her before "meeting her" (it makes more sense after reading it). The ending also leaves you with a definite sense of "woah". No, I'm not going to spoil it for you. Go out and find it yourself.

    Angels & Demons
    Dan Brown
    I blame this book entirely for my fascination with the Large Hadron Collider. Sure, I've read The Da Vinci Code, but this book blows it out of the water. Anti-matter, religious cults, anti-matter in the hands of religious cults: it's great! Let's not forget the murder. There is plenty of it. My only hope is that they don't fumble the movie.

    Shogun
    James Clavell
    I'm a sucker for "fish out of water" stories, and this is one of the best. It features an English sailor getting marooned in ancient Japan and essentially f~cking everything up. Hey, what can you expect when you get mixed up in a political scandal and can't speak the language? Amazingly for such a large book, it is all good.

    1984
    George Orwell
    I'm sure this book needs little introduction. It weaves the tale of a world where everything is perfect and everyone is happy (or else). It also spawned a huge set of my favorite clichés. "We've always been at war with Eastasia." "Freedom is slavery." "Anything but Room 101!" Ah... memories...

    Dune
    Frank Herbert
    Do I really need to explain it to you? It's Dune! I'm going to move on...

    The God Delusion
    Richard Dawkins
    I had stopped believing in god long before I picked this book up, but it definitely opened my eyes to more arguments in favor of my views. It is also exceptionally well written. You don't need to be an evolutionary biologist to understand what he's talking about. It ever so slowly hacks away at all of the "proofs" that intelligent design has been spewing. I kind of wish more people would pick up this book, but it seems to be taboo to some. Hrn... oh well.

    Don't Eat This Book
    Morgan Spurlock
    You may remember this guy as the producer of Supersize Me. Well, you know what they say about a movie's book. With some notable exceptions (*coughForrestGumpcoughcough*), the book is better than the movie. This book goes even further than his film-based expose in exposing how icky fast food is. Every time I finish reading it, I go on about a three-day long diet from fast food. I always come back though. It's delicious. Mmm... mushroom and onion pizza...

    The Year of Living Biblically
    AJ Jacobs
    I'm still in the process of reading the bible (darn thin pages making it longer than it appears), so this book was great. It pointed out a lot of the sillier and stranger passages. No mixed fabrics (Lev. 19:19)? If I can't wear my favorite polyester/cotton Hawaiian shirt, Heaven isn't worth it.

    Going Postal
    Terry Pratchett
    Okay, here's the plan. Let us mix two boring topics: fantasy novels and the post office. Somehow Terry Pratchett made this work. I'm trying to figure it out too. I guess by making it a comedy novel, he was able to circumvent the ennui fantasy novels induce.