August 23, 2008
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Statistical Implications
Here are some interesting statistics and the implications I glean with the assumption that a god exists.
Of all the people struck by lightning, about 83% of them are men. Gods must have a thing for phallic jokes.
Approximately thirty-thousand Americans are involved in toilet related injuries each year. This is quite possibly the most satisfactory proof of god I have ever seen. It would take a lot more than random chance to get involved in a toilet injury. There is definitely a higher power involved.
On average, right-handed people live nine years longer than left-handed people. They must be the mistakes. They can't just be outright smitten or people would get suspicious. The gods just let them live for a while, and then kill them off early.
Approximately 109 species and subspecies of birds have become extinct since 1600. It's clear that the gods' chosen species (us) need to progressively eliminate any species that get too close to the gods' domain.
At the top of Mount Everest, water boils at only 150˚F, as opposed to 212˚F at sea level. This is clearly because it is closer to the gods' domain. One of them finds it easier to reach down and help us out.
Source: Botham, Noel (2007). The Ultimate Book of Useless Information. New York: Penguin Group Ltd.
(Disclaimer: I'm an atheist. This is just a fun thought experiment.)
Comments (7)
Men, in general, take more risks than women, so they would put themselves in circumstances to get struck by lighting more than women.
Woo, left handed people rock! We're so awesome, that if we lived longer than right handed people, they would suck by comparison.
What if God likes left handed people more and so he rushes them to heaven early? hmmmmm?!?! lol. love the pic
@WAR_ON_ERROR - Who are you to say they go to Heaven?
@Jimbo1023 - Well I wasn't claiming to know, but I happen to be somewhat ambidextrous, so I'm diversifying just in case. But while we're speculating, Matthew 7:14 does say that few will be saved and there happen to be few left handed people so maybe there's a correlation we should pay attention to. Right?????
@WAR_ON_ERROR - (I can feel Godwin's Law in effect) There are also only a few albinos. Maybe they are actually God's chosen people. Unless, of course, they're left-handed, in which case God redirects them to the broad road to destruction.
@Jimbo1023 - I guess the Albino's, Hitler, and left handed people will have to duke it out for that saintly spot.