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Saturday, 14 November 2009

  • Politics and Otakon

    I had an interesting thought from a discussion with someone I know. You see, he made the connection that, because there was between 10- and 30-thousand people at that last teabagger rally in DC, that it must be an accurate portrayal of the American majority's feelings on the subject. I didn't have anything to say to this aside from a deep sigh, but later, as I was getting into bed the night after, a powerful retort came to mind. If this connection can be made, then that must also mean a majority of Americans love anime. You see, Otakon last year had over 26,000 hard-working Americans gathered in one place to celebrate a common cause. These patriots gathered together to show the sleepy city-folk of Baltimore that they are united. You know what else? The main stream media did not see fit to report on this mass gathering of Americans united under a common banner. Why would the media try to cover this up. When most Americans in this country love anime, they should be all over this kind of story like stink on cheese. Why is this?

    Now, I'm not saying that the main stream media hates you and wants to eat your children on a kaiser roll, but isn't it interesting that I'm the only one with the courage to ask these questions?

    Nooooooo!


    Currently
    Year One (Theatrical & Unrated Edition)
    By Jack Black, Michael Cera
    see related

Friday, 13 November 2009

  • Walker's License

    I think it's high time we started requiring people to acquire licenses for walking, similar to driver's licenses. This would ensure that these schmucks clogging up hallways and sidewalks would be summarily executed marginalized. Anyway, here is my plan.

    Young children can get away with walking unlicensed for a little while, but after the age of 14, every person will be required to attend a series of classes in walking. This would cover a range of topics including:

    • How to always move to the right side of the hall and only move toward the left when passing others
    • How to always sidestep to the right if you are approaching somebody walking toward you, rather than dance side-to-side foolishly
    • How to walk in a [god damn] timely manner.
    • How to walk and eat at the same time
    This, of course, is not a complete list, but you get the idea. After completing the requisite classes, legal walker hopefuls will need to complete a written and practical exam. After that, you are fully licensed to walk. There will be none of that walker's permit silliness, where you have to walk with your parents for an ungodly long number of hours before getting a full license. You get it right after the test.

    Enforcement will be strict. You will required to present a walker's license whenever trying to purchase shoes. If you are caught trying to purchase shoes for an unlicensed person, you will be punished in a similar way to purchasing booze for minors. Likewise, super-local cops, like campus police or mall security, will be on the lookout for suspicious walkers and will have the right to pull anyone over and ask to see their walker's license. You may still be fined for walking like a prick, but it would not be as severe as not having a walker's license.

    Spam Boots


    Currently
    Appetite for Destruction
    By Guns N' Roses
    see related

Thursday, 12 November 2009

  • Like a Soldier~

    I read an interesting article today in the newspaper yesterday. It's rather short, so let me just quote it for you:

    A 21-year-old Milwaukee man knows firsthand the kind of street cred military identification offers. The man says he was walking from work at about 1:15 a.m. Tuesday when four men approached him. He says one pulled him into an alley, where they took his wallet and phone. But when one robber saw the man's Army ID in his wallet, he told the others to return the items and apologized. The robber told the soldier he respects what he does and thanked him. The man said the robber even gave him a fist bump.

    Aww, isn't that sweet? Just before Veterans Day, too. I can only wonder what was going through the soldier's head at that time. I'm sure that as soon as he got home, he paused and thought, "wait, what?" Frankly, I'm surprised he didn't take them all on. How can we look confidant and strong in the eyes of other countries if one of our soldiers can't beat up a group of ruffians in the middle of the night with his bare hands? When that hooligan offered a "terrorist fist jab," he should've ripped his arm off and beat him with it. I will grant, however, that the article did not go over what happened immediately after. I like to think that the soldier called in an air strike and obliterated those deviants.

    Secretary of Homeland Security T
    Currently
    Cooking with Flavor: Spice Up Your Everday Favorites
    By McCormick
    see related

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

  • Happy Veterans Day!

    Yes, today is Veterans Day. Being a government employee, that means I get the day off. To celebrate, I intend to masturbate continuously listen to war protest classic rock laze on the couch with the Dhammapada remember all of America's proud men and women in uniform and celebrate their accomplishments by masturbating constantly by eating the rest of the unfinished Halloween chocolates by observing a moment of silence to ponder sometime after lunch when I decide to take a nap.

    bzzzzzzzzzzz~

    Currently
    The Dhammapada (Classics of Indian Spirituality)
    see related

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

  • Interesting Bumper Stickers

    Objects in mirror are losing

    "Honk if you love Jesus!" – I could not help but notice that no one was honking. I like to think that this driver is spreading the message that nobody loves Jesus. Granted, I live in northern Virginia. Drivers around here, when stuck in our eternal gridlock, don't love anybody.

    "Don't let the car fool you, my treasure is in Heaven" – Before I begin, I want to stress that this bumper sticker was on the back of a minivan. Now, this may just be a false consensus, but I have always assumed that most people rank family first, or darn close to the top, on a list of most important things in life. More than a few times, I have heard parents refer to their children as their "treasure". Similarly, the only reason a person would get a minivan is because they have a big enough family to warrant such a vehicle. The assumption that I draw from all of these other assumptions is that I should not be fooled into thinking this driver has a large family… that's alive. They are obviously quite dead and waiting for him or her in Heaven. Well, or maybe the person was just reading 1 Corinthians too awkwardly.


    Currently
    Miracle (Widescreen Edition)
    By Kurt Russell, Patricia Clarkson, Noah Emmerich, Sean McCann, Kenneth Welsh
    see related

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Jimbo1023

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    • Name: Josh "Jimbo"
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  • Josh "Jimbo" Edwards: Wanted for the crime of creating a blog filled with so much useless drivel that it can potentially fissure the earth and cause cancer.

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