October 30, 2008
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We Don't Celebrate Halloween
Y’know what really gets my knickers in a twist? People who
don’t celebrate Halloween. Well, let me take that back. It’s not a matter of
them refusing to celebrate Halloween that bothers me. I know I don’t celebrate
a lot of holidays (Purim? Please.) What really brings my kettle to a boil is
people who don’t celebrate Halloween and use that as an excuse not to give out
candy to children (and adults who act like children).They just hang a little
sign on the door that says something along the lines of “we don’t celebrate
Halloween”. What a bunch of child-haters! What, are you worried about the Pagan
aspect or its connections to “the occult”? C’mon, they’re kids going around in
costumes asking people for sweets. Do you really think a kid dressed as
Spider-Man is dooming his soul to Hell? And if a kid is dressed as a witch, a
grim reaper, a 401k statement, or some other ungodly horrible thing, do you
really think not giving them candy is going to make them lose interest? No, it
just makes the kid sad and makes you look like a prick. I remember when I went
out trick or treating as a kid (last year, j/k), I felt just a little
downtrodden when I saw one of these signs. I tried asking my dad why they
aren’t giving out candy, but I don’t remember him giving an answer. Now that
I’m an adult too, I have my own ideas of what he was thinking that evening. He
was probably thinking “because they’re complete dickheads.” If you’re not going
to give out candy, give some other excuse. Turn all of your lights off and
pretend that you are on holiday somewhere else. Maybe put a foreclosure sign on
your front yard. That’ll keep people away (everybody knows foreclosures are
airborne).Now that I think about it, I remember one Halloween
when I stopped at a house and the person actually came to the door and told me
and my posse that they didn’t celebrate. What the heck? You moved your
posterior off of the couch just to tell us that? Why not just turn off your
porch light? It’s absurd. It really is. And now that I have ceased to be funny,
I’m going to shut my mouth. Sorry for going off like that. I guess the evil
spirits that rise up this time of year got the better of me (or something like
that).
Comments (4)
"Dickhead" seems to be as good a word as any to describe those people.
Luckily there's a patrol of children who go around to correct these "mistakes" that these people make by egging/TPing/vandalizing these so called properties. God bless their merry little souls.
@In_Reason_I_Trust - Ugh, I feel bad for writing that. I try to steer away from name-calling. It really doesn't add anything to the argument. Still, it did make me feel better.
@Valkyrie6 - I was thinking about adding something about this, but decided against it. God(s) bless the merry vigilantes. I know I don't have the gall (or energy) do perform such peace-making activities.
I can honestly say I've never seen that where I live. Then again, the last time I went trick or treating was in like...maybe 7th grade? I just handout candy now - but at least I'm dressed up and stuff.
Oh and the 80 bucks from the self checkout...that was MY money. Hence my anger:
<-----only slightly angry really.