February 21, 2009

• The Great War

  In all things, it is important to look upon history and make sure that mistakes are never repeated. This is especially true of the saddening period of time known as the War of The Forgotten. Nobody knows who struck first, but what followed was a period of near relentless juice shed. The Forgotten Lunch Meat Empire, who fervently believed that their sentience was a gift from the great sky bulb, declared war against The Union of Leftover Pasta Sauces (ULPS) who felt their sentience arose from natural processes of time and fungal growth. Other allies rose to defend their brothers in arms and war soon escalated to encompass the entire refrigerator. The Half-Empty Catsup Bottle Coalition joined forces with the ULPS, while the former government of the Island Nation of Cheeses was overthrown and replaced with a Lunch Meat-favorable leader. Less civilized nations on the refrigerator’s fringe were overtaken, overthrown, or simply disappearing from existence. The fungal soldiers of the various empires were advancing and falling back regularly, with very little actual ground being taken.

  Then, one day, the apocalypse came. All of the empires disappeared in a moment of bright light and confusion. Time passed once again and new nations, including ours, came into being. Nobody knows for sure what caused this massive catastrophe, but most agree that it came about because these greedy nations of the past overstepped their boundaries. They let greed and bloodlust guide them into destroying everything they worked so hard to build. Knowledge of these past battles still remains with the ancients and the records written in the frozen Back Wall. Remember well, child.

  

  "War... has changed." – Old Snake

  • 7:36 am
  • 1 Comment