April 2, 2007

• The Elderly

  Where I work, I get to see a lot of people and the types of
  vehicles they drive. More often then I would have thought, I see a lot of
  stereotypes. I see men in leather jackets driving their Harleys. I see the guys
  in sunglasses and floral shirts driving their convertibles. I see old ladies
  with their walkers driving Hummers. No, I am not making that last one up. A
  startling number of old ladies drive big SUVs, including those crazy Hummers.
  The old men drive sensible old-people vehicles, like Oldsmobiles and Hillman
  Minxes, but the women feel some strange need to drive a vehicle with enough
  cargo room to fit a freight locomotive, or possibly the state of Vermont. I just don’t
  understand it. Why would such a group of people, who survive on a fixed income,
  invest their money on these vehicles? I cannot imagine that any one of them
  would fill up that much cargo space, unless she happens to own Vermont and feels like
  taking a holiday. The worst part is when they are actually driving them. I
  don’t actually see them driving; mostly
  since they are too short to be seen over the steering wheel. They do, however,
  have a horrible habit of driving at an absolutely blazing
  fifteen-under-the-speed-limit. I believe some glaciers in Alaska move faster than these old ladies. Worse
  yet, they seem to have some kind of attraction to the left lane. For those of
  you not familiar with the rules of the road, the left lane is not for slow
  traffic. If some vehicle is tailgating you, this goes to you readers as well,
  then you should move over to the right lane so that that person can pass you
  and flash the appropriate finger.

  • 6:39 am
  • 3 Comments